


Is This All There Is?

by fanbabble, mythicalamity



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Midlife Crises, Mutual Pining, Road Trips, Slow Burn, Van Life, Wanderlust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:53:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 37,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25707730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanbabble/pseuds/fanbabble, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythicalamity/pseuds/mythicalamity
Summary: As Rhett and Link face individual experiences of midlife crises and wanderlust, they find themselves wondering if there is anything elseout therefor them. And whether or not that’s a journey they are meant to take together.
Relationships: Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal
Comments: 271
Kudos: 137





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> “I have a strange feeling with regard to you. As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly knotted to a similar string in you. And if you were to leave I'm afraid that cord of communion would snap. And I have a notion that I'd take to bleeding inwardly.” —Charlotte Brontë, _Jane Eyre_

The sound of the alarm on Link’s phone was jarring. He had to set it extra loud or he would never get out of bed. Link rolled over and grabbed his phone, tapping cancel and opening the app to check the weather. Today’s forecast called for heavy rain. He wouldn’t go for his normal run, instead he would head into the gym. Link sat up to slide out of his empty bed. No girlfriend or even a one night stand had warmed his sheets in over a year. At first Link convinced himself he didn’t have the time, but he finally admitted that he just didn’t have the desire. He was better alone. Besides, he had Rhett and Mythical to keep him company. His right hand could fulfill all his other needs, sometimes his left. Link pushed the blankets off to the side and paused for just a moment looking at his feet as they rested on the rug. He took a deep breath to gather the strength to get up and face another day filled with the same routine he’d followed for the past 10 years. Same gym, same shower routine, same smoothie. He had it all down to such a perfect science that he almost didn’t have to think about the process. He could let his mind go blank and just exist. Sit comfortably in the silence trying to ignore that little tickle at the back of his thoughts asking _“Is this all there is?”_ A text pinged his phone.

_Good morning Link_

He smiled to himself. Rhett had done this for as long as Link could remember, checking in to start the day and touching base to end it. “Better get this show on the road,” Link mumbled as he headed toward the bathroom to begin his day.

* * *

The office was too hot and Link was annoyed. Legal paperwork was never one of his favorite things. That’s why he usually let Rhett handle it, but like any good businessman, sometimes Link had to review and sign documents too. He sat on the leather couch in their office and thumbed through the sponsorship contract Feldman had handed him on the way in. This was sure to be a huge deal, so you’d think he would be more excited about reviewing the terms, but it was the last thing Link actually wanted to do today. He riffled through the papers on the coffee table again trying to make sense of it all before he tossed them aside. 

“Why’s it gotta read like IKEA instructions?” Link whined. He leaned back on the couch and covered his face with his arms. It felt like the walls were closing in on him. _Maybe I could just lay back and take a nap instead of working._ He took two deep breaths and blew them out the way he had seen Rhett do after starting therapy. _Maybe I should start therapy._

“That’s how they get you to keep paying them. They write them so miserable to read that you can’t understand what a contract says without lawyers explaining it, so you gotta keep them around. Genius really.” Rhett leaned back in his office chair on the other side of the room and stretched his arms above his head. He let out a big yawn. “At least that’s what my dad always says,” he mumbled as he focused back on his laptop.

Link pulled his phone out with the intention of checking his work email. He was willing to do anything to not have to look at that contract again. He checked the stock market and scrolled through the news on Twitter. The Mythical account was hopping after today’s episode. He did his best not to look at the Rhink posts. That was a slippery slope he had done an excellent job of avoiding for years. Link did actually open his email, but that’s as far as he got. The desire to slack was just too strong. He opened Reddit and allowed himself to fall down the rabbit hole for a bit. 

Link needed a vacation, somewhere isolated to get away from it all and have some fun. He scrolled through the National Parks subreddit for a while. Yosemite, Zion, Acadia. They all looked like the perfect place to find adventure. Just the thought of setting off on an epic journey to one of these beautiful locations made his heart sing. He daydreamed as he looked at the posts about the best times to visit and what to carry in your backpack. _How hard would it be to carry all your gear into one of these places?_

Before Link knew it he had stumbled into a subreddit about ‘van life’. One minute he was looking at posts about National Parks and the next minute he was knee deep in information about tiny refrigerators and bed installation. The concept of traveling across the country in a converted sprinter van had Link absolutely entranced. Taking your home with you as you go seemed not only practical, but also comforting. Laying your head in the same spot every night, but still seeing the world sounded too good to be true. Not to mention you could keep everything organized and tidy, unlike tent camping that, as Link knew from experience, could be messy and chaotic.

Link clicked over to Instagram to get some visual inspiration and see exactly what these portable mini homes looked like. When he discovered #vanlife, the world around him seemed to fall away. Every picture was more beautiful than the last one. Tropical beaches, mountainside lakes, all of it looked like paradise. He watched an Instagram story of a guy waking up in his van and then walking with his morning coffee down a stone path and jumping into a clear mountain stream. The cinematic grandeur of the video gave Link an epic feeling of FOMO. He should be in these places and doing these things. He should be living this life. The idea of being able to pick up and go, no responsibilities, no plans, seemed like the answer to the restlessness (and if he was honest, emptiness) he had felt in his heart for who knows how long. Link had a case of wanderlust, and #vanlife looked like the cure he needed. 

For the next hour, Link ignored his work and scoured Instagram for information on types of vans and different cross country routes, anything that piqued his interest really. Until he came across “the” post. It was a picture of two men, one brunette and one blonde, resting against each other sharing an intimate moment and a small kiss. In the pic they were sitting in their travel van with the doors open wide and a beach laid at their feet. The picture made Link feel like he was looking at a moment only meant for these two lovers. Link couldn’t look away. He felt a warmth spread through his chest. Why? He didn’t know… but it was a good warmth, a happy warmth. 

“Tyler and Todd,” Link whispered the men’s names to himself. He traced a finger over the image. 

A knocking sound pulled Link’s focus back to the present. 

“Five minutes, guys,” Morgan’s voice called through the office door.

Link tossed his phone onto the couch next to him and slipped his denim jacket back on. He swiped his hands through his hair a few times to make sure he was “camera ready.” On the other side of the office Rhett closed his laptop and took a last sip of the tea he had been nursing all morning while proofing their Bleak Creek sequel. He smacked Link’s arm in a classic love lick fashion on his way out.

“Let’s go, brother. Time waits for no man,” Rhett chuckled as he headed down the hallway that led to the studio.

Link picked up his phone and unlocked the screen. He took a moment to look at the picture of the couple again, their smiles, the way their arms were intertwined, their bare feet resting in the sand like they didn’t have a care in the world. The phone felt heavy in his palm. Link couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face. He liked the photo and clicked FOLLOW on the TylerandTodd account. 

_“I’m not waiting for time anymore either.”_ Link thought as he slipped the phone into his pocket and headed towards the door. 


	2. Chapter 2

Surely Rhett must have displayed at least _one_ genuine showing of emotion before now. It seemed more likely than not, over the course of his day. But as Rhett plopped himself down inside his car at the end of the workday, he couldn’t recall a truer expression of his current mood than the exhale that forced itself from his lungs.

Rhett’s heavy sigh pushed out all the day’s tension he’d been subconsciously holding in up until now. He stole a glance at himself in the rear view mirror. He allowed himself to see the cracks he didn't dare show at work, where Rhett felt compelled to project the appearance of utmost confidence. 

He frowned a little. He didn't _feel_ confident lately. 

He put a tranquil, ambient music radio station on his phone before he began driving. The music was cinematic, like a soundtrack to an epic fantasy. It made him feel things, but there were no lyrics or familiarities to lead him to distraction, or over overthinking. He rolled down the windows to feel a natural breeze mingled with the warm evening air on his skin.

It had been a while since his ex had broken things off. The thought popped into his head like an intruder that was familiar with the blueprints of the property. It was scarcely disruptive, until noticed - at which point, the thought was not particularly welcome. 

It wasn’t exactly a sore subject. There had been no betrayal, argument, or hard feelings. It had been simple and amicable. She had claimed that she’d waited long enough for him to decide where they ‘go from here’; and he had claimed that he had no idea what she meant by that. Ultimately, she had concluded that he was a nice and stable guy, but lacked any sense of romance or commitment. 

Rhett pulled into his driveway, and waited for the music track to end before he turned his car off. He didn’t feel like he was a romantically disconnected guy, or that he had any issues with commitment. But he wasn’t the one that had to date himself. So he wasn't sure how much his opinion on the matter counted for anything. 

As he was about to exit the car, his phone buzzed. A message from Link displayed on the screen. 

**_Hey man_ **

**_Sorry if I was weird today._ **

**_Feelin a little out of it_ **

Rhett silently chuckled before sending a message back. 

_Not any weirder than normal ;)_

The winking emojis between them had started off as a joke after Link had incidentally disclosed his use of them with one of his exes. But as with many of their inside jokes, it had lost its irony and was now a regular fixture of the vernacular of their text-based conversations. 

**_Ha. Ha._ **

_For real tho it’s no big deal._

_I been in a bit of a funk myself._

**_Hm. I think we might just be getting old ;)_ **

**_Have a good night 🧓🏻_ **

Rhett shook his head and began to tuck his phone inside his pocket when it buzzed again. 

**_Remind me later! I have an idea for an EBs._ **

_Ok don’t hurt yourself thinking too hard ;)_

Rhett did feel genuine relief at Link’s confession of having felt ‘out of it’. It matched his own feelings, and made him less self-conscious that he alone was throwing off the vibe. He took a breath, and hoped that they would somehow both snap out of it in as synchronized and effortless a fashion as they had both… snapped into it?

He dropped his backpack by the door as he entered his home, and headed straight for his bedroom. He stripped off his clothes and slid into some old basketball shorts. The epitome of comfort. 

He didn’t really miss his ex, he thought to himself - seamlessly picking up the conversation he had begun with himself on his drive home. Though, her elective departure from his life had left him with a lot of questions.

He made his way to the kitchen, and stared in at its contents as if any answers could possibly lie within. 

What _was_ he committed to? 

Where _did_ he go from here? 

It wasn’t exactly a sense of despair, or of being lost. At least that wasn't how Rhett interpreted it. It was more of just… a curiosity. 

_Curiosity is good_ , he told himself. 

He popped some leftover chili into the microwave. He topped the reheated meal with entirely too much cheese, and poured himself a small glass of wine to help him wind down from the day. 

Rhett settled into the corner of the sofa, pulling his knees up into his chest both for comfort, and to form a makeshift table for his dinner. He reached for his laptop and brought up a YouTube playlist of Beau Miles videos that he’d curated. 

This guy had it figured out. 

He’d committed to not committing. 

Well, that wasn’t _exactly_ true. There was a wife, and a rotating cast of friends that occasionally would join in on his escapades. 

But Rhett wasn't interested in ‘running away’ entirely either! He had Mythical, and Link. And those were some pretty damn fulfilling things in his life. But there was something very... _romantic_ about losing himself in the wilderness. Taking that solo journey that he had always fantasized about. 

Rhett was distantly self-aware that he was likely, at least partially, trying to distract himself from the rejection of his breakup; and from the subsequent void left in his existence, having risen to the surface in its wake. 

He also knew that he was subject to lying to himself, which was why he had taken to scanning his own thoughts and behaviors for signs of bullshit like this. Asking himself if he was sincerely trying to be passionate about pursuing a dream, or if he was merely distracting himself from processing his emotions. In this case, after an honest assessment he did find it to be a little bit of both. 

But he was being honest when he said that the emptiness had nothing to do with the ex. It was cruel to think, but with the benefit of hindsight, he recognized that she had been another way to distract himself from the intangible things that he was realizing that he had been missing. Things that when he watched Beau training or having adventures, _he_ seemed to have figured out. 

Rhett glanced up at the large wooden clock hanging on the wall, and massaged his temples. His head began to ache as he registered the fact that it was getting to be so late that it was almost early. He was going to need to wake up in a few hours if he was going to get to the studio on time. 

And he _would_ get to the studio on time. 

Apparently, there were some things that he was unquestionably committed to.

He made his way to his bedroom, and collapsed onto the bed. He tapped at the bedside lamp until it switched off. Rhett ended his day much the way that he began each day. He sent a text message to Link. 

_Goodnight Link_

He set his phone face-down on the nightstand, nuzzled into his pillows, and closed his eyes. 


	3. Chapter 3

“I freakin’ love this salad, man,” Rhett chomped on a mouth full of lettuce and proceeded to shovel more in. “It’s these little mushrooms and the fried onions. Everytime we drive by Tino’s I think about this salad.” 

Rhett paused so Link could acknowledge what he'd said. No response. He looked up to find Link leaning back in his office chair sipping on his soda, his lunch long forgotten. He was totally engrossed in his phone. Rhett set his bowl down on his own desk. 

“It’s the roaches, man, they make this salad delicious. Love the crunchy roach legs.” Still no response. 

“LINK!!!” Rhett bellowed. 

“What?!” The smaller man jumped and almost spilled his drink.

“You haven’t heard a damn word I’m saying cause your nose is stuck in that phone.” 

The line between Rhett’s eyebrows deepened. Link could see he was seriously annoyed. He would never intentionally make Rhett angry.

“I’m sorry, bo. I got distracted,” Link locked his phone and laid it face down on his desk. He had been perusing the TylerandTodd instagram again; liking every post and reading through the comments about how adorable they were as a couple, and how brave they were to set everything aside and take a grand adventure. 

“No kidding. You been distracted all day,” Rhett finished his salad and threw the box in the trash by his desk. “What’s got you so wrapped up?”

Link nervously played with the hem of his jacket. There’s no way he could tell Rhett about van life yet. He wasn’t even certain what his plans were, only that the idea made him feel more alive than he had in a long time. And he certainly wasn’t going to tell him he’d been obsessing over an openly gay couple’s road trip, because that would open a whole can of worms he wasn’t prepared to address. Link walked over to the office couch and took a seat, hoping to put some distance between himself and Rhett and calm his nerves. 

“I’ve been doing some research for that Ear Biscuit that I mentioned to you… the one about having a midlife crisis.”

“You pricing Ferraris?” The apples of Rhett’s cheeks peeked out of his beard and he tried to wink in that dorky, adorable way of his that was more of a blink than anything else. It gave Link a warm feeling in his chest. He always got that fuzzy feeling when Rhett teased him. 

“No, nothing like that. It’s just something I’m thinking about. Don’t want to tell you until we record the episode. You know, preserve the magic and all that.”

Rhett got a serious look on his face. He walked over to the couch and took a seat next to Link. He placed a comforting hand on the smaller man’s knee. Rhett’s hand was warm and Link couldn’t help but notice how big it was. Rhett could practically wrap his whole hand around Link’s lower thigh. Link closed his eyes and his heart fluttered in his chest. 

“Been kinda worried about you, to be honest. You know you can tell me anything, Link. Anything at all.” Rhett had gone quiet and serious. 

Rhett rubbed circles with his fingertips that made the smaller man’s mind go blank. He was so close Link could smell his natural scent, woodsy and warm with a hint of that expensive cologne he had given Rhett for Christmas. His senses were filled with Rhett. The room felt like it was getting smaller and all his attention was focused on Rhett’s hand on his knee. It seemed to be directly connected to his groin as he could feel himself thickening in his jeans because of the contact. These feelings weren’t new, but he had done a great job of pushing them to the back of his mind for a very long time. All these years doing his best to avoid all touch or connection that could be seen as anything more than platonic. Link was afraid if he didn't remove himself from the situation right now, he’d do something crazy. He hopped up off the couch, startling Rhett and grabbed his phone. 

“Seriously, it’s no big deal, Rhett. To be honest, I don’t feel great today. I didn’t get much sleep last night and I think should take the rest of the day off.” Link was speaking a mile a minute. 

“Okay, I guess,” Rhett sounded unsure, “Want me to stop by this evening and check on you?”

“No… not necessary. I’ll be fine. Just gonna hit the hay. See ya tomorrow,” Link grabbed his water bottle and backpack, and practically bolted out the door. 

* * *

The first thing Link did when he got home was strip down and climb in the shower. He hoped the steam would clear his mind. The whole way home all he had thought about was Rhett’s hand on his knee and how good it felt; how much he’d wanted Rhett to move it higher. How he never wanted to lose that physical connection. Link washed his hair and conditioned it. He soaped up his body and scrubbed all his parts with precision like normal. 

Before he could rinse, he found himself with his hand wrapped around his cock. It had been half hard since he left the office. He seemed to be in a constant state of nervous arousal recently. Maybe if he let himself get off he would be able to relax and feel better. He stroked slowly from root to tip and tried to picture someone standing behind him reaching around to help him out. The arms he imaged started as slender and feminine, but once he gave himself over to the pleasure and let his mind wander freely, the fantasy morphed into an old classic. All he could picture were two extra long arms, strong with lean muscle, and dusted in a fine golden hair. He stroked faster and imagined big hands grasping his cock and the feeling of a beard tickling along his shoulders. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to the tiled wall as he envisioned the person bending over with him, cocooning him with the sheer size of their body alone. It was at the same time that he could have swore that he felt lips ghosting across the nape of his neck, that he came with a gasp and painted the wall in front of him. 

* * *

Link pulled the blankets tighter around his shoulders. He was snuggled up in an armchair in his bedroom wearing his favorite pair of comfy joggers and eating greasy Chinese takeout. He had found TylerandTodd’s YouTube channel and binged videos on his laptop for hours. He was tracking their journey on a road trip app on his phone and was trying to make note of the different product brands on all of the equipment in their van. 

Link knew if he wanted to get serious about purchasing and modifying a van, he needed a place to store all this information. He couldn’t use his Pinterest account. There was too much stuff for work tied to it, and Rhett could easily see all the pins he saved. Link knew there was one place he could be totally incognito and still have all of the information he needed at his fingertips… Tumblr. He hadn’t been on the site in years since they had their official account. They had abandoned the platform because it was home of the shipping wing of their fandom. Rhink content was displayed freely there and it was a bit much for him and his lovesick heart if he was honest. But now he had a reason to start his own blog and so he did. 

When Link came to the blog title screen it only took him a minute to come up with the name, @tylerandtodd-are-goalz. It was cheesy, but that didn’t matter. Nobody was going to know it was him, and he could let himself be as sentimental and corny as he wanted on it. This blog was for his heart’s desires, and he couldn’t wait to get started planning. The first post he reblogged was a still shot of a clear mountain lake with a white Mercedes Sprinter van parked alongside of it. The van’s back doors were open, and there was a man sitting on the back step using his laptop while watching the sunset. He tagged it #vanlife and smiled softly to himself. 


	4. Chapter 4

Rhett drove home in a full-body cringe. He felt so incredibly guilty for having groped Link’s knee like that and scaring him off. 

Rhett couldn’t help wondering what had happened to them. If he could have controlled his touchy-feely hand back at the office, maybe he and Link could have hung out longer, gone out for drinks, made each other laugh… just... been themselves. But his inner voice, the one that didn’t want to be the only one in the wrong, couldn’t help but wonder: hadn’t physical contact always been the way that they helped to ground one another? Love licks, and toe touches…  _ But, _ he countered himself.  _ Caressing the man’s knee wasn’t exactly a punch to the shoulder.  _

Rhett raked his fingers through his long waves of hair, pushing it back from his face as he symbolically dragged himself for his behaviour. Why were things so hard lately? Why were all their organic and unspoken boundaries suddenly feeling so challenged? 

A lump formed in Rhett’s throat as he replayed how uncomfortable Link had looked, and how quickly he had left. Rhett hated that he had been the one to make him feel that way. He was supposed to be his best friend, his safe space - yet he had acted like a predatory creep. Link had probably left in a hurry to go jump in the shower and wash off all the icky feelings that Rhett had contaminated him with through that knee touch. 

Rhett considered taking a shower himself. But he didn’t have the luxury of being able to rinse  _ himself _ off of himself. Moreover, he wasn’t entirely convinced that he deserved to feel better right now. He had made Link visibly upset, so he wasn’t the one that needed to feel better. He needed to  _ be _ better. He couldn’t hide from that. 

It didn’t stop him from trying, though, as he lost himself in binging backpacking videos on YouTube. How to pack for short trips, long trips, lightweight packing, trips involving icy conditions...Videos dedicated to shelter, clothing, nutrition, kitchen hacks. Rhett fleetingly wondered if there was anything in there that he and Link could mess with on GMM. Or if he was getting into more Mythical Kitchen territory. He tried not to micromanage Josh’s content, but maybe a suggestion would be appreciated: making gourmet food with backpacking kitchen equipment… It felt like there was something there? At the same time, this really felt like something he wanted to do with Link. 

His hand itched to text Link. Like some otherworldly power was trying to possess the appendage to pick up the phone. Link had explicitly said not to check in on him. But it didn’t count if it was about work, did it? He just needed to shoot off some ideas his way, Link didn’t even need to respond. Rhett knew he had Read notifications on, and it would be enough to know that he had seen his message. 

_ We ever do dehydrated meals taste test?  _

_ On gmm? _

Rhett’s stomach flip-flopped as he watched the little bubble and dots that let him know that Link was responding. 

**_Will it jerky_ **

_ Yeah, like that _

_ But what about meals  _

_ Like  _

_ Camping meals? _

**_MRE taste test?_ **

_ Sort of.  _

_ There’s this Mountain House brand _

_ They have all kinds of flavors, I was thinking  _

_ We could rate how much they taste like the real meal? _

_ Or rank our favorites.  _

_ I’d love to taste that chicken and dumplings man!! _

**_Hehe_ **

**_I’m gonna be honest bo_ **

**_Sounds super similar to some other eps_ **

**_Worst case scenario we can taste them on our own time ;)_ **

_ Haha. Ok _

_ Have a good night  _

**_:)_ **

Rhett set his phone down, feeling a little better about himself and things with Link. Maybe he’d overreacted. He hadn’t meant anything by the touch, aside from looking out for him - as he always had. There wasn’t anything ‘off’ between them. 

It was this damn midlife crisis Ear Biscuit idea that Link had floated. What was Link saving to talk to him about? Midlife crises tended to involve major life changes. Rhett couldn’t help feeling that Link would be unable to undergo a major life change without it impacting him as well. 

What if it was something to do with Mythical? What if he was weary of what they were doing there, or of working with Rhett in general? 

It had always been a very idealistic thing: making a living - making a whole  _ life _ \- being silly and building stuff with your best friend. And to have done so for this long… Had he been kidding himself thinking it would last forever? Was that even practical? Maybe reality was catching up to him. 

They hadn’t taken things for granted. They’d made active efforts to grow, evolve, experiment in different media, and challenge themselves creatively. So that something like this wouldn’t happen. 

Was it happening anyway? 

He couldn’t get to thinking that way. Not before having heard what Link actually wanted to say. Not if he wanted to get any sleep that night. 

Suddenly, background watching backpacking videos wasn’t enough of a distraction. He had already consumed Beau’s blogs, YouTube videos, and Instagram content. He wondered if there was a… community? Other folks that were as enthusiastic about his adventurous lifestyle as Rhett had become. 

The first place that came to mind was Tumblr. 

Tumblr was a guilty pleasure that he occasionally lurked in on. He never commented on, or reblogged anything. He very rarely even clicked to ‘like’ anything. His mission statement as a lurker was even built into his username: @gmm-mc-lurklin. Also evidenced in his username was the primary object of his Tumblr curiosity: the GMM fandom, and yes… rhinky bits included. He could hardly believe that there were people in this world that were fully aware they had fanfiction written about themselves, and had no compulsion to read it. But people like that were out there! He knew Link was one of them… 

But today’s Tumblr lurking mission came from a pure place, he reminded himself as he typed ‘Beau Miles’ into the search bar and hit <Enter>. 

The search results were pretty uninspiring. There was one sporadically posted YouTube video of Beau’s that Rhett had already seen. There were a few wholly unrelated posts, and there at the bottom was an unexpected find. It was  [ a post ](https://recsineffect.tumblr.com/post/619862389428518912/rhetts-rec-in-episode-242-was-beau-miles-the) that summarized his rec of one of Beau’s videos on an episode of Ear Biscuits. The whole blog appeared to be dedicated to their Ear Biscuit recs. A pretty good resource, he thought to himself as he clicked the Follow button, and proceeded to skim the blog’s contents. It was all very objective cataloguing of their recs. Not a lot of cute commentary. Rhett nodded, like it was important that he approve of this professional curating. 

Despite having not been intending to look for  _ this kind _ of content, and having found a very benign blog to peruse: he was faced with gifs of himself, Link, and of course - the two of them together. 

This was a slippery slope, he decided as he slammed the laptop shut. He was surprised to find that his heartbeat was racing. 

That was not a good sign. 

Creativity gone stale, his own codependent nature, and now whatever  _ this  _ reaction he was having… Just like skinning a cat, there was more than one way to ruin a friendship. There was no need for him to collect them all, or try to hit bingo.

He decided that he’d thought more than enough for one night. He put  _ Braveheart _ on as background noise, having been reminded by the Recs blog that it was one of his favorites, and he tried to get some sleep. 


	5. Chapter 5

Link couldn’t help but notice how careful Rhett had been with him since the day of the knee rubbing incident. He stayed close, but not too close. No more soft touches or casual connections. Just calm well intentioned words and measured actions. It was almost like Rhett knew the effect that knee rub had on Link. Had Rhett realized that it made Link’s chest feel like it was on fire? Did he know that Link went home and touched himself in the shower to the thought of Rhett’s hands on his body? No. There’s no way he could have known those things, but something was definitely different. Link’s best guess was that his own behavior that day had startled Rhett so much that he was avoiding being close to him now. He was sure Rhett was freaked out, and the idea of that was heartbreaking. Link did his best not to think about it too much and instead focused on other things like work and his new obsession. 

It had been a week since Link created the Tumblr account. A week, and he already had over 400 reblogs and 60 followers. He wasn’t sure what was attracting so many folks. Maybe it was the meticulous way he curated his blog. Being sure to tag every post with it’s particular subject (#vanrefrigeration, #vanbed, #vanstorage) or his knack for pleasing van aesthetics (#vanplants, #vanbohemian, #vancooking). Whatever it was, people were flocking to his page. Link had even turned off notifications, because his phone was blowing up during meetings in the Mythical conference room and causing a distraction. This thing he had started as a way to prepare for and justify his midlife crisis Ear Biscuits episode, had taken on a life of its own. It was an escape for Link, a way to fantasize about what that life might really be like if he ever got brave enough to actually live it one day. 

After he saw how upset Rhett had gotten at being ignored, Link stopped perusing the internet during working hours. His evenings on the other hand, well they were consumed by it. Link found himself weeding through Tumblr posts until he came across just the right blog that focused on #vanlife. And then categorically reblogging the things that interested him. He hadn’t been excited about anything outside of work in a very long time, but now, looking at these amazing pictures of vistas that someone had reached by taking an adventure in a home on wheels, Link found that he could  _ feel _ again. It was inspiring. He wasn’t spending his evenings just sitting on the couch zoning out to a home improvement show anymore, he was actually thinking, fantasizing, planning about something. That something was his future, or what he hoped his future would be. 

* * *

The day seemed to drag on forever. The boys were filming their 5th food-based episode in a row, a full week’s worth of GMM. Link couldn’t stomach the idea of eating one more weird creation or tasting one more fast food item that he’d never eat in real life. The monotony was getting to him, and frankly he felt guilty for recommending such unhealthy food to their fans. The idea that a mythical beast might eat these things and get sick from them didn’t sit well with him, but he knew they needed the views and apparently food eps were the only way to get them… or so he’d been told. 

When had he and Rhett given up so much creative control over their own company? Link couldn’t recall exactly when it had happened, but before he knew it there were crew members he didn’t know on set and important decisions being made without them. The thing he and Rhett had built was slipping through their fingers, slowly becoming less of a joy and more of an obligation. All these thoughts ran through Link’s head as he sat quietly trying to get the episode back on track. 

Stevie kept interrupting with unnecessary facts about what they were tasting, and in the process drawing Rhett’s attention away from the task at hand. She seemed to be winding Rhett up and challenging him on purpose. 

“The potato chip was invented in London in 1862, Link,” Rhett said.

“Is that so?” Link slipped another of the salty chips into his mouth, doing his best to appear interested. 

Stevie’s booming voice came through the on-set microphone. “Actually, Rhett, it was 1865. They were created as a delicacy for British royalty.”

“No way! I know I read about this specific thing in a book on the history of European cuisine.”

“I’m sorry, but your facts are wrong according to Wikipedia,” the smug smile could be heard in the tone of her voice.

Link rearranged the chips on the desk for the  _ third _ time, trying to keep his hands from fidgeting and his mind off of his irritation. It took everything he had not to roll his eyes back into his head. 

“Josh, you know all about junk food. Tell these people I’m right,” Rhett bellowed to the chef just off camera. 

“Actually, Rhett is technically right. They were invented in 1862, but not widely accepted until 1865 when they were sold as a snack at the World’s Fair in London,” 

Link leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. He was at the end of his rope. This was not the kind of stuff he envisioned he and Rhett creating all those years ago in their dorm room. In fact, this felt like the last place on Earth he wanted to be. Link took a deep breath and squeezed the edge of the desk so hard his knuckles were turning white. 

“Hah!” Rhett exclaimed triumphantly. “Told ya!”

“Ugh, fine. That one goes to Rhett,” Stevie conceded. “We can double the points in this last round to give Link a chance at coming back. Link, this next one...”

“Who the FUCK cares?!” Link cut Stevie off before she could finish the question. “Who gives a shit?!” His voice boomed through the studio. All of his pent up frustration and annoyance came rushing out all at once. 

“Link...” Rhett said softly.

“No, Rhett. Don’t  _ Link _ me. Nobody cares about dates, or potato chips, or any of this shit. Is this really what you saw yourself doing with our company? Or are you just happy to coast along making mediocre videos because ‘that’s what makes the numbers good’?” Link’s use of air quotes made his sarcasm evident. 

The studio was silent. The crew didn’t dare move an inch. Link had never had an outburst like this in all their years of working together. 

“Calm down, brother.” Rhett reached out to rest a hand on Link’s shoulder.

“Naw man. Don’t tell me what to do, and don’t fucking treat me like a child. I’ll be in our office.” Link stood up from his seat. “Don’t bother me until y’all come up with some new ideas, and not this same ol’ tired stuff over and over again.” He swatted the potato chips onto the floor and stormed off set. 

* * *

Link regretted his behavior the minute the door slammed shut behind him. How could he yell at the crew and coworkers that he loved so much? And to belittle Rhett like that in front of everyone? He regretted that the most. Link stood by what he’d said, though. He hated the content they were creating, though he might have even tolerated that if Rhett wasn’t losing interest in him. It felt like he couldn’t keep Rhett’s attention anymore. He was always getting drawn in by on-set comments, or sharing his cheeky smile with somebody else. He thought back to what it was like in that little studio in Lillington. Back when the only person that could make Rhett smile was him. When they were the center of each other’s universes. Jealousy ran thick through Link’s veins. Although Link may have felt justified in acting out, he was definitely ashamed at how he went about it. 

Link had planned on sitting at his desk and making productive use of his time, but now all he could bring himself to do was sink down into the leather couch and try to calm his nerves. He was so on edge lately. All of this midlife crisis talk had done a number on him. Restless sleep and anxiety had become his constant companions. He found an escape in his innocent online obsession and was pulled in once again. 

Even though he vowed not to do it at work anymore, Link opened the Tumblr app and began to scroll through the latest posts for #vanlife. He could feel the tension draining out of his body. Crystal clear lakes, wooded campsites, a woman and her dog resting on a beach. The images were soothing. His mind quieted as he therapeutically scrolled through post after post, until one particular image came across his phone. It was the picture of Tyler and Todd, the couple his blog was named after. It was  _ that _ picture. The one of the pair entwined together, sitting inside the door of their van. Tyler’s arms were wrapped around Todd’s tanned thighs as his partner kissed the top of his head. They were so close, so intimate. Just them. No one to distract them, or steal each other’s attention. 

_ Now that, _ Link thought.  _ That must be heaven. _

A strange feeling started to bloom in his chest. It was like a thought that he couldn’t quite sort out. 

He looked at the picture again, and glanced over at Rhett’s desk. Then back to the picture. His mind’s eye couldn’t help but replace Todd in the picture with himself and Tyler with Rhett. Link closed his eyes and let himself imagine what it would be like to fit together like that. Rhett resting between his legs, leaning back against his chest. Link imagined bending his head down and placing a loving kiss in the golden curls atop Rhett’s head. A warmth spread out across Link’s chest. It seemed to reach all the way down to his toes and up to his scalp sprouting goosebumps as it went. 

_ Rhett… _ he wanted this with Rhett. The fun, the adventure, the intimacy, the sex, and (for the first time he let himself admit it) the love. He had been attracted to Rhett for as long as he could remember, but he had pushed all his other feelings down. It took him nearly having a mental breakdown on set to realize he was in love with him as well. A wave of joy washed over Link. It was freeing to admit this truth about himself that had been dancing below the surface for so long. He couldn’t stop smiling from ear to ear. His heart was pounding so hard it felt as if it might burst out his chest. He had to find Rhett and tell him. Maybe he would take this trip with Link and just maybe he would share his life with him as well. 

Just as he started to spring up from the couch, Link remembered how Rhett had reacted to the knee rubbing incident, and how cold he had been all week. He slowly sat back down on the worn leather couch.  _ He doesn’t want me that way, _ Link told himself. It was a sobering thought. A lump formed in his throat, and it felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. 

Link nestled back into the warmth of the couch and looked at Tyler and Todd’s pic again as tears began to slowly roll down his cheeks. He reblogged the post and this time, unlike any time before, he chose to “talk in the tags”. 

#vanlife for 2 across country is the real dream #want this with my crush # love of my life #he doesn’t feel the same #solo vanlife will have to do


	6. Chapter 6

Rhett couldn’t remember having ever been so nervous before recording an Ear Biscuits episode. Between the distance that he’d sensed gradually accumulating between him and Link, and his misstep with that stupid knee touch… Then there was how distractible Link had become. It seemed like Link would rather live in his phone these days than anywhere in the physical world with Rhett. It had all culminated with Link’s blow-up on set. 

Even after they had discussed it, and Link had apologized, things still hadn’t set well with Rhett. Link had fervently insisted that he didn’t mean everything that he had said, and definitely not in the way that he’d said it. But Rhett still couldn’t quite shake the feeling that GMM had become the baby that they shared which had trapped Link in this relationship. The thought of Link feeling that way, of staying with him out of some kind of obligation, made Rhett want to throw up.

* * *

Once they sat down to record the episode, Rhett was relieved to hear that Link didn’t seem resentful at all about the life they’d built together. In fact, in what should not have been a very surprising turn of events, they seemed to be pretty much on the same page. Link loved the things they had created together, but he was itching to find out if there was something more out there. 

The conversation had been a little heavy; but Rhett felt much lighter, and the air between them felt more clear when he set down his headphones at the end of the episode. He met Link’s eyes, and looked at him with open affection. He had met those same blue eyes at every pivotal stage in his life. They were still as big, bright and full of uncertainty as they had been before starting middle school, high school, moving away for college, starting a company, leaving the church. It was a look that Rhett knew well, but this was the first time that Rhett was just as nervous as Link. Every other time they’d been at some kind of crossroads they would take together, Rhett had at least been sure that as Link walked toward the unknown he would be right there beside him. Now, for the first time, Rhett wasn’t quite sure he was welcome. 

“I was actually just thinking this morning about how GMM has been kinda like… our baby.” 

Link smiled wistfully. “I’m proud of that baby, Rhett. I really am. I’m just scared.” Link’s gaze turned toward the ceiling, as if he might find some answers there. “Because that baby feels dang near grown. And you know how awkward it gets when overbearing parents don’t know how to let go. I don’t wanna be that guy. But now I’m just kinda wondering... where that leaves me, without all this.”

“Yeah.. I can relate to that, I guess.”

“It’s like that Eagles song,” Link pitched his voice to casually sing, “ _ What can you do when your dreams come true, And it's not quite like you planned? _ ”

Rhett looked down at his hands, “I don’t think I’m familiar with that particular song.” It was a lame response. But he couldn’t bring himself to ask the questions that were defensively rushing to the forefront of his mind. What hadn’t gone according to plan? What  _ was _ the plan? He felt like he didn’t know anymore. 

“Building this business with you really has been a dream come true,” Link continued quietly. “I just can’t help wondering at this point, who  _ are we _ when we’re not who we are for GMM? I just keep feeling like it’s... getting to be time to find out.”

“Is that where this  _ van life _ stuff comes into play?” Rhett knew he was doing a bad job of keeping the resentment out of his voice. It wasn’t really worth the effort of trying to disguise it. Not with Link; he would see through it anyway. 

“I dunno,” Link answered meekly. “I guess I haven’t entirely figured out what that all looks like yet. But maybe? Or maybe it’s a start…”

Rhett ached to ask Link for specifics, but he knew Link well enough to know that bombarding him with questions right now would only scare him further away. 

It wasn’t that Rhett hated ‘van life’ as a concept; and he absolutely agreed that it did feel like they were at a turning point in their life. Their  _ lives _ ? But shouldn’t they still have the option of finding out together? Or was part of the point that there were some journeys that they would have to venture on separately? They were on the same page, but he needed to know if they were still in the same book. This would have to be enough for Rhett for today. 

* * *

The reluctant peace that Rhett had made with where he and Link had left off didn’t stop him from going down a rabbit hole once he got home that night. He immediately picked up his laptop, and settled in to do some research. He had to try to figure out what it all meant.

The first thing he did was google the Eagles song Link had quoted earlier. He didn’t know what exactly he was learning here, but there were certainly some standout lyrics. 

_ The flame rises but it soon descends _

_ Empty pages and a frozen pen _

_ You're not quite lovers and you're not quite friends _

_ You're afraid you might fall out of fashion _

_ And you're feeling cold and small _

_ Any kind of love without passion _

_ That ain't no kind of lovin' at all _

Rhett was left feeling confused, and a tinge of anger creeping in. He didn’t even know where to begin. 

_ Was _ the thrill really gone? And was he mad at Link for feeling that way, or more for suggesting something that Rhett had been feeling himself, but had refused to consider until now? 

Rhett knew one thing for sure: he  _ wasn’t _ passionless. 

What did Link  _ want _ from him anyway? With all this lovers and friends talk. This wasn’t the first time Link had casually recommended a song to him that carried those undertones. There was that Bahamas song, the Ronnie Milsap and Kenny Rogers song, and the Charlie Daniels Band rec…  _ God. That _ one… Where the hell did Link get off recommending songs like that in front of him, and then turning around and flinching from his touch? Talking about longing and possession, and then telling Rhett there wasn’t room for him in his stupid van-bed or whatever? What the hell was he longing to possess anyw—

A thought stuck in Rhett’s brain, like a puzzle piece that didn’t quite fit into place. 

Link hadn’t actually told Rhett that he wasn’t welcome in his bed. Rhett had been the one to make the joke that he was too big to fit. Link had insisted that there  _ was  _ room, and that Rhett  _ should _ check it out. 

Was that more confusing, or was it all too clear for comfort? 

Rhett decided he’d thought enough about music for one night. He put on some ambient hip hop for some background chill. Nothing that was likely to awaken anything in him, or prime him to notice things that simply couldn’t be there. 

He focused on the concrete things that he knew for a fact Link was yearning for: hashtag-van life. Maybe if Rhett learned more about it, he could figure out exactly what Link was looking for, what he needed. 

He effortlessly found some outdoorsy aesthetic Tumblr blogs, and it didn’t take long to narrow down to the type of things that it sounded like Link was talking about when he spoke about #vanlife. Rhett knew that people only posted ‘the good stuff’ online. And other people only reblogged from the cream of the crop. No one was posting the mechanical issues encountered along the way, or the bugs, sweat, or the repetitive and substandard meals. 

Just as Rhett was trying to talk himself out of peeling back a new layer to his myriad of hobbies, he stumbled across a blog called @tylerandtodd-are-goalz. He didn’t have a clue who Tyler or Todd were, but this blog made Rhett  _ get it _ . There was some undefinable thread that seemed to hold each aesthetic post together for him. Those strings connected to Rhett’s core and seemed to yank at it. There were a lot of couples photos, and despite the awareness that not every shared moment between the pair was likely as magical as the captured moments, he felt like he’d kill for even a transient moment that was as perfect as that. He’d put up with the mechanical problems, unfavorable elements, shitty foods, and shitty moods if it meant that he got to have a moment with Link, even a fraction as idyllic as any of the ones featured on this blog. Sunset. Comfort. Connection. These were words that the blogger tagged their posts with. Rhett wanted those things, too. 

It didn’t take long to skim through the entire blog. There wasn’t a lot of personal information, but Rhett couldn’t help connecting with the owner’s aesthetic eye and tags. There were a couple of recent Asks answered regarding a crush that the blogger hadn’t found the courage to disclose to the object of their affection. 

**Anonymous:**

**You should tell your crush! You never know what can happen! Listen to your heart! What’s the worst that could happen??**

_ Tylerandtodd-are-goalz: _

_ I appreciate you, Anon. That “worst that could happen” aspect feels like a hell of a thing right now, but I’ll take your encouragement to heart. _

Rhett felt that, too. He quickly decided to make a sideblog, so he could follow this aesthetic blog. Also, in part motivated to follow this personal drama. He was rooting for this person. Something about it gave him hope. 

@backpacking-bean

He stared at the username. The backpacking part was a bit aspirational. But what was this sideblog, if not aspirational? He chose an appropriately themed avatar and header. He reblogged some of his favorite photo posts, being careful not to ‘like’ them with his guilty pleasure GMM-fandom lurker account. Hindsight being what it was, he wished the @gmm-mc-lurklin account wasn’t his main. But he had never meant to do anything aside from lurk. He certainly never meant to do this:

He sent a DM to the @tylerandtodd-are-goalz account. 

_ “Hey I just wanted to say that I feel you on the whole ‘secret crush’ thing. It feels romantic to bare your soul and hope for the best like that Anon said, but the potential real life consequences don’t always feel worth the risk. I don’t know where I’m going with this. Just felt like reaching out and letting you know that… I know it’s not that easy. I hope you find what you’re looking for. I hope we both do.” _

He hit send. His stomach flip flopped. He immediately logged off. 

  
Rhett slept fitfully that night. He had a vivid dream of being introduced to the van of Link’s dreams. He was given a tour that was way too grand for the size of the vehicle. Link took Rhett’s hand and led him to the bed. The doors were flung open like they always were in all the posted photos. There was probably a breathtaking sunset outside of the doors. But Rhett couldn’t take his eyes from Link’s hand, still holding his own. Before he knew it Link was kissing him. Rhett couldn’t quite connect with the kiss, and it made him want to jump out of his skin. Like trying to find traction enough to run in a dream, or throw a punch through air that felt like the consistency of quicksand. It was all hot breath and desperation, and he couldn’t remember wanting anything more - dreaming or waking. Dream Link was pulling him into the bed, and they seemed to fit into it perfectly. They fit into each other perfectly. Link guided Rhett’s hands to his hips, and Rhett held on for dear life as they grinded against each other. The friction was warm, Link was both hard and soft, and Rhett felt wetness on his thigh before waking up. His heart soared as he imagined that he might have coaxed an orgasm from Link.

His heart sank as he woke alone with a pillow tucked between his thighs. He felt a cold empty space beside him, where the dream had fooled him into thinking Link should be. The wetness had been real, though. And Rhett thought it was absolute bullshit for him to be having wet dreams like a teenager at the same time that he was dealing with what felt like a midlife crisis.


	7. Chapter 7

Link laid in his bed reflecting on everything that had happened that day while recording Ear Biscuits. Rhett took it all a lot better than he expected. No yelling, or arguing, just a somber acknowledgment of what Link was feeling. He appreciated that. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to leave Rhett behind if he did decide to head out on the road for a while. Who was he kidding? It would be the hardest thing he’d ever have to do.   


* * *

When Link awoke the next morning to a DM on his Tumblr account he was shocked. He hadn’t ever considered that anybody would be interested in talking to him directly. He was pleasantly surprised to see that the message was from an actual person and not a porn bot. The tone of it was incredibly sweet and empathetic. The way @Backpacking_Bean tried to relate to Link made him feel not quite so alone in his self imposed bubble of pining.

**_I know it’s not that easy. I hope you find what you’re looking for. I hope we both do._ **

Those words hit Link in the heart. Maybe this person was genuine. 

_ It might be nice to have someone to talk to about all of this, _ Link thought. 

He clicked on the profile. There wasn’t a lot of information there, but he understood the need for discretion. A few reblogged posts of beautiful vistas clearly taken from remote hiking trails and some posts about quality backpacking locations made up the majority of the content. It seemed to Link that this person was interested in getting lost too. 

His finger hovered over the “say something” bar for a moment before he pressed it and began typing.

_ Thanks for reaching out. It means a lot to know someone understands. Sounds like you’re struggling too. Hugs.  _

Link reconsidered leaving the “hug” on the message, but decided it was a kind gesture and pressed the send arrow. Link didn’t want the conversation to end, but he also didn’t want Bean to feel like he had to pour his heart out, so he followed it up with something lighter. 

_ That pic from the Appalachian Trail looks amazing. _

This way Bean had options of things to discuss with Link. 

Ding! Link quickly unlocked his phone to read what Bean had sent. 

**_Unrequited love is a hell of a thing, especially when you see them daily._ **

Link smiled. That sounded familiar. 

_ Coworker? _

**_Yeah.. Oh, and I wish I could claim that pic as mine, but I haven’t hiked the AT yet. Did you know it takes 6 months?_ **

And with that, a friendship was born. As the days went on the pair messaged each other back and forth keeping a constant state of comfortable conversation. Over the course of the week, they talked about trips they wanted to take and favorite music. They sent each other posts about national parks and adventures they wanted to experience. Conversation never strayed to the personal with the exception of the occasional crush updates. 

**_Watched him across the room today. He’s so handsome_ **

_ I Wonder what would happen if I kissed him? Would he kiss me back? _

They encouraged and supported each other, but never pushed for more details. This online friendship gave Link comfort and even helped settle his restlessness a bit. It was like a little escape in the middle of his hectic life.   


* * *

At the end of the insanely busy week, Link sat down by his backyard pool to enjoy some weekend sunshine when he heard his phone ding. 

**_Are you more of a Tyler or a Todd?_ **

Bean had sent along a pic of the husbands kissing on a mountaintop. 

Link could feel the blush spread across his cheeks. Was this flirting? 

_ I guess I’m more of a Todd. We kinda look alike. _

**_Really?! Wow, he’s a very handsome guy. Your crush must be a fool. ;)_ **

Link’s heart was racing and the blush was traveling down his chest. He wasn’t sure how to respond, but he thought he might enjoy flirting back. It felt nice to get some attention. 

_ I don’t know about that, he’s just not interested. I do have dark hair and I’m long and lean like Todd if that’s what you’re into. _

He sent the message quickly before he lost his nerve. 

**_Mmm that sounds right up my alley. Sure would be nice to kiss someone on a mountain top like this._ **

Link’s stomach did a flip flop and he could feel a blush spread across his cheeks. 

_ That would be amazing. If I ever go on my #vanlife road trip, maybe our paths will cross and we can give it a try. _

**_Hah! You tell me where and when and I’ll be there._ **

Bean’s message came through loud and clear. Link wore a huge grin on his face. That was enough flirting for now. It made him feel special, but it was just for fun. He knew his heart belonged to one man alone, Rhett. He set his phone down on the lounge chair and dove into the pool. 

* * *

The horn honked for a second time as Link was slinging his backpack over his shoulder.  _ God he’s impatient,  _ he thought to himself. He opened the garage door and pulled his surfboard down from where it was mounted on the wall.

“You ready, buddyroll?” Rhett was practically vibrating with excitement. He jumped out of the FJ and took the surfboard strapping it to the roof rack on top of his own. 

“Yeah, man, been looking forward to this all week.” Link threw his backpack in the backseat and settled in next to Rhett for the drive down the coast. 

It was their first surfing trip of the year. The pair had been trying to schedule this for a month and this was the first weekend that their insanely busy schedule would allow a little time for fun. 

As Rhett zoomed down the highway, Link let himself steal glances at the man next to him. The way his hair fell around his face now was mesmerizing. He loved it short, but this was beautiful too. It would soon be pulled up into the hair tie that Rhett wore around his wrist, but until then Link loved watching the way the wind from the open window moved it around his face. 

Link joined in as Rhett sang along to their special surfing playlist. They tried to match the harmonies of the Beach Boys. Singing with Rhett was one of Link’s favorite things to do. It felt intimate and just for them. The pair finished up the song just as they pulled into the beach parking lot. Rhett turned and smiled that cheeky grin that made Link’s chest fill with warmth. 

“Wanna go to the pavilion bathrooms to change or take our chances here?” Rhett asked with a naughty twinkle in his eye. 

Link looked around and smiled, “Parking lot’s pretty empty. We should be okay here.”

They both opened their car doors and started stripping down to their boxers. Link watched as Rhett peeled off his t-shirt and swim trunks. Link swallowed hard at what was revealed. The fine gold hair that dusted Rhett’s body, the thick thighs on long tan legs, and the sizable bulge that filled out the front of Rhett’s briefs. Rhett glanced up and caught him looking. Link could feel the blush spreading across his cheeks as he looked away pretending to search through his backpack for something. Link shed his own clothes quickly and stepped into his wetsuit. By the time he dared to look again, Rhett was fully clothed in the skin tight black neoprene. He walked over to the passenger side of the FJ where Link was packing up his clothes. 

“Let me help you, brother,” Rhett said as he pressed in close behind Link grabbing the zipper string and pulling upward slowly. 

Link held incredibly still. He felt Rhett’s hand slowly sliding up his back as the wetsuit closed. The big man was so close that Link could feel warm breath ghosting across his ear. It sent a shiver through Link’s body. Rhett squeezed his shoulder before turning and pulling the boards off the top of the truck. Link knew he had to get himself together. He couldn’t react like this every time Rhett touched him. 

Rhett handed Link his board and ran off toward the surf laughing and yelling, “Last one in the water buys lunch.” 

Link grinned wide and chased after his friend. 

* * *

It was a perfect day for surfing. Rhett and Link spent hours getting up on their boards and riding waves into shore. The morning flew by and before the pair knew it it was almost lunch time. They carried their boards onto the beach and put them down in the sand. Link immediately laid back on his. He was exhausted from the constant pounding of the waves and needed a moment to rest and catch his breath. From his spot on his board, Link had a perfect view of Rhett as he unzipped and peeled down his wetsuit leaving it resting on his hips. Water drops slid down over Rhett’s pecs and made Link’s mouth run dry. The taller man turned and sat criss cross on his board looking out over the ocean. Link wanted to reach out and touch the freckles that adorned Rhett’s shoulders and back. Spending the day like this was exactly what Link needed. Time alone with the one person who meant most to him in the world made him feel alive. He couldn’t help, but let himself think about living #vanlife with Rhett. 

“It would be like this you know… in the van. Driving up and down the coast. Surfing whenever I want. And when I get tired of that, maybe drive up into the mountains. No obligations. No scheduled. Just adventure”

Rhett huffed, but didn’t turn back to look at Link. “You think? Could you really just leave everything behind and drive off?” 

“It wouldn’t be forever, Rhett. Just a couple of months. To get my head clear and all.” Link turned his gaze away from Rhett’s tempting form and looked out at the ocean. 

Rhett picked up a shell and threw it into the waves that washed on the shore. The air was heavy and it wasn’t just the humidity of midday that caused it. The pair sat quietly and watched the waves. Rhett finally stood up and held out a hand to help his friend up off the sand. 

“Come on, Link, you owe me a burger. You can tell me all about van life while we eat.”

The two men changed back into their shorts, packed up, and drove out of the parking lot. 


	8. Chapter 8

Rhett was practically vibrating with excitement from his day with Link. He knew that there’d been a couple of points in the day where he had needed to get out of his own way. Where his mind had been tempted to succumb to the pitfall of ruminating over Link’s restlessness regarding #van life, and what Link’s pursuit of van life might mean for their careers, their friendship, and…. well, whatever else there might be at stake between them.

But Rhett thought that he’d done all right managing his expectations and emotions, for the most part. He couldn’t blame Link for letting his mind wander after other goals and dreams. After all, Rhett had been entertaining his own version of that in his exchanges with @tylerandtodd-are-goalz over on Tumblr. 

He had even come up with a nickname for his new friend: Tat. An abbreviated version of his“Tyler And Todd” based username. Tat had taken to calling Rhett Bean, which Rhett thought was cute. His stomach flip flopped a little. Maybe  _ cute  _ wasn’t the right word?

Aside from the time that Rhett had spent with Link today, the next best thing was the thrill of getting to share his excitement with Tat. 

A part of him felt a little guilty. All of Rhett’s life, when he had felt excited, nervous, or just had a particularly good or bad day, the first thing he thought to do was to tell Link about it. There was an algorithm set up in Rhett’s brain such that when he saw something funny or beautiful, his brain would process it to consistently come to the same conclusion every time: “I’ve gotta tell Link about this!” So it didn’t feel quite right to now be looking forward to something like that with somebody else. 

Maybe this was part of their journey toward discovering who they were, aside from who they’d always known themselves and each other to be?

Besides, it’s not like he could tell  _ Link _ about his crush… on Link. 

It wasn’t that Rhett didn’t have other friends. He did! But those friends were all also mutual friends of Link. So that didn’t work either. He would have had to be vague and cryptic about it, and they’d have him figured out so dang quick - it wouldn’t even be funny.

It was refreshing to have a person that he could rush to at the end of the day to gush about his crush. He felt like a teenage girl as he crawled into bed with his phone, and opened up the Tumblr app. This wasn’t his usual setup, where he’d get out his laptop and grab some food and a drink before settling down to browse. His body was tired out from surfing, his belly was full from the burgers they’d grabbed afterward. Yeah, maybe he should’ve showered first, but the salt from the sea on his skin reminded him of his day with Link. It was a sensory reminder of how Link had looked running along the beach in his wetsuit. The way his hair shagged over his eyes when it was wet, and how good he looked when he reached up to run a hand through it to push it back. 

Rhett wasn’t ready to wash that away just yet. 

So, he curled up into his bed and opened his chat with Tat.

**_Hey_ **

_ Hey!  _

_ There you are :)  _

_ You’ve been quiet today  _

**_I had a really great day today!_ **

**_I spent the whole day with Him._ **

**_It was pretty incredible._ **

There was a pause, and Rhett was surprised as he felt a new sense of guilt. He didn’t know how much he should go on about this, or in how much detail. They had met and bonded over the shared experience of unrequited love. What if Tat wasn’t having these highs, and by boasting about his own highs, Rhett made Tat feel discouraged? Also, Rhett couldn’t deny, not even to himself, that he had  _ flirted  _ with Tat. They were both a little bit lonely, and it was all in good fun. Plus, there was undeniable chemistry there - they played off of one other well online. And it felt good to be getting some attention in that way. Rhett just had to remember not to lose sight of the fact that there was a real person with real feelings behind that URL. 

_ That’s awesome!  _

_ My day was pretty great too.  _

_ A good day to be a middle aged man with a hopeless crush, amirite?? _

**_Lol. I guess!_ **

The conversation drifted naturally, which Rhett was grateful for. He was confused by his compulsion to both overshare the details from his real life, and also protect his online friend from his… intensity. He was happy to move the conversation toward what he felt was more neutral territory, and more the foundation of their online friendship. 

**_So I have this book…_ **

**_It’s this couple_ **

**_That sailed around the ENTIRE world and_ **

**_They took all these amazing pictures as they went around._ **

_ Omg yes.  _

_ That’s us! _

_ One day our blogs will be our own wilderness adventure pics. And other people will be reblogging the dream that we are daring to live! _

_ (Does that sound too corny? Haha) _

**_Not at all!_ **

As they chatted back and forth, Rhett idly engaged in his other tangentially related guilty pleasure of searching for rhink fanfic to suit his mood. He knew there had to be some surfing fics out there. He thought he’d read a post where, after they’d floated the idea of surfing together on a couple of Ear Biscuits episodes, a fan had posted: “Okay, so who’s gonna write the fic where the boys go surfing together??”

_ Who indeed _ , Rhett wondered as he scoured the #rhink fic tag looking for something that was well-written enough to help get him off, but not  _ so _ well-written in terms of being in character that he wound up hurting his own feelings by reading it… That was a fine line sometimes. But he’d sampled enough of the fandom’s writing that he knew which authors tended to suit almost any given mood. 

A banner from a chat with Tat popped up as he was skimming fics. 

_ That type of thing reminds me of those Endless Summer movies? Did you even get into those back in the day?  _

Rhett fleetingly wondered what the chances were that Tat would bring up surfing while he was searching for surfing related… material. He hadn’t mentioned surfing outright, had he? Not that it was a stretch, by any means, that two guys in the LA area would have surfing on the brain. 

He  _ had  _ gotten into those movies, too. He and Link both had. They’d even had the iconic poster from  _ The Endless Summer II _ in their college dorm room. Heck, he still, currently followed Laird Hamilton on Instagram. 

He closed the chat window for a moment, and honed in on the fic that seemed closest to what he was searching for. He opened it up in a separate tab on his phone to do a ‘closer reading’ later.  _ Ugh,  _ he thought.  _ This is so much easier when I’m not on mobile.  _ He then opened a chat back up with Tat and began typing with genuine enthusiasm.

**_I love those movies!_ **

**_Can you imagine surfing all those spots around the world, immersing yourself in the local people and places?_ **

**_I think part of why I like that idea is that it’s centered around an activity._ **

**_Like. It creates space for opportunity to present itself in some unique way, but worst case scenario…_ **

**_You’re still surfing!_ **

Rhett paused, waiting for a response. He hadn’t really asked a question, so maybe it hadn’t warranted a reply. Maybe he hadn’t been providing the quickest responses either, having been splitting his attention between chatting and searching for something to read later. Perhaps Tat was just instinctively matching the conversational pacing. Or maybe….

Oh shit.

Ohhhhh shit.

Rhett’s stomach plummeted as he noticed the name and icon next to his text: @gmm-mc-lurklin

This was  _ not _ who he wanted to be with Tat. Would it mean anything to him? Rhett wasn’t in the habit of hoping that people didn’t know anything about the content that he created, but he wanted nothing more in that moment than for Tat to be oblivious to the meaning of that username. However, the horse was out of the barn now...

**_Ummm. This is awkward. I accidentally messaged you from a different account. But it’s still, well, me?_ **

_ Oh ok. GMM, huh?  _

**_It’s… kind of a guilty pleasure I guess. Not a big deal. I can switch back._ **

**_Okay! Me again!_ **

Rhett wasn’t sure if he was imagining the longer response time. 

_ So is the ‘beans’ part of this username GMM related?  _

_ Doesn’t one of them like beans? _

**_I like beans too._ **

**_Nobody has a monopoly on liking beans_ **

_ You said it’s not a huge deal, but you have a sideblog for it? _

_ You must be kind of into it. _

**_It’s just fun is all._ **

_ I guess I can see that. _

Did that mean that he was a fan? Rhett really hoped he wasn’t a fan. He couldn’t imagine how a genuine friendship might be sustained if Tat thought of him as ‘the guy from GMM’. It was at that point that Rhett realized that somewhere in the recesses of his subconscious, he was hopeful about the relationship that he was forging with Tat. Deep down, he must have thought that they were actually going to meet some day. Maybe go on one of the adventures that they liked to fantasize about. He didn’t want to ruin those chances. This was meaningful to him. More than he had even known.

**_I’m sorry that was weird._ **

**_Are you like… a fan, too?_ **

**_You knew the bean trivia..._ **

_ I mean, I know some stuff here and there.  _

_ So do you think you’re more of a Rhett or a Link? _

**_Ha! Hm. Like when I asked you if you were a Tyler or a Todd huh?_ **

**_Well, I’ll use your same logic. My hair is more like Rhett’s._ **

**_So I guess I’m a Rhett. You already told me you have dark hair, so I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you’re a Link?_ **

_ I guess _

Rhett was desperate to steer the conversation in any other direction. 

**_So anyway, there’s also this Australian couple on YouTube_ **

**_And of course they’re both really good looking_ **

_ Again. That’s us! _

**_Ha. Well._ **

**_So they’re sailing around the world_ **

**_And they just make it look so fun, man._ **

**_What do you think?_ **

**_You wanna…_ **

**_Sail to a remote island and make a YouTube series about it?_ **

**_You wanna do this with me? Haha_ **

**_Ditch these problematic crushes of ours and just run away together instead._ **

_ Sure, bean.  _

_ Listen, I think I’m gonna turn in.  _

_ I got an early morning tomorrow _

_ Yadda yadda yadda _

**_Heh. Okay. Gnight!_ **

_ Night _

Rhett closed the Tumblr app, feeling sick to his stomach. How could he have been so careless? Suddenly, he felt very much in need of that shower.


	9. Chapter 9

It took Link a full hour before he could wrap his head around what had just happened. This random person that he had met on Tumblr and forged a friendship with was a fan of GMM. The thought absolutely blew his mind. What a crazy coincidence. 

When the message first came through on his phone Link was incredibly confused. At first he thought it was a person who had somehow figured out that this was “ _ The _ Link Neal’s” account, but he quickly realized that it was in fact his friend Bean. The person he had been pouring his heart out to for the last 2 weeks was a fan of GMM, and by proxy Rhett and Link. 

Bean apologized and explained that he was a casual fan, but Link knew that anyone who took the time to create a dedicated account on social media was a little more invested than the average viewer. He felt a pit forming in his stomach, a sour ball of anxiety that left a bad taste in his mouth. Part of Link’s brain had allowed himself to believe that this online friendship might become something real. That they might one day take one of the trips they had discussed, or even enjoy van life together, but it was becoming increasingly clear that just wasn’t an option. Link could never allow himself to become that close to a fan. He would always wonder if the person enjoyed spending time with him because of who he really was, or if it was all because of the fame. 

Link had made a hasty exit from his conversation with Bean. He felt genuinely bad, and hoped he hadn’t offended the guy. He would message him in the morning and behave as if nothing had happened, but he wouldn’t let himself become any more attached than he already was. The tie that bound them together would have to be severed eventually. Both for Link’s own safety and his mental health. Getting caught up in an online flirtation wasn’t the best thing for him right now. If he was honest though, it broke his heart a little to think there would be a day when he wouldn’t talk to Bean anymore. If anything, this whole incident helped him refocus on what had become so important to him in recent weeks: exploring who he wanted to be, and how he wanted to live in the future. 

“This mid-life crisis is back in full effect,” Link told himself as he drifted off to sleep. 

* * *

For the next three days Link tried to stay as busy as possible at work. He kept his head down, and filmed everything asked of him without distraction or discussion. They stock piled episodes for Good Mythical Summer, continued editing their book, and had meetings to discuss everything from their next road show to quarterly items for the Mythical Society. Link did his best to give it all his undivided attention, even though he did find himself drifting off to day dream at times. Ever since the revelation that Bean was a GMM fan, their online friendship had cooled. They still texted a few times a day, but no more discussion of vacations or adventurous getaways together. Link was sad to have lost his confidant, but he knew it was better this way. Flirtation with a fan was off limits. He and Rhett had agreed on that long ago. Without the distraction of Bean’s messages, Link’s focus was back on Rhett full time. His hair, his eyes, his laugh, the way his jeans stretched tight across his toned thighs. He no longer had a place to turn to when he wanted to gush about how adorable something Rhett did was, or how hard it was to be near him without wanting to touch. Now those thoughts could only turn inside. It felt like a pressure was building inside of Link, starting somewhere around his heart and more often than not traveling down to his crotch at very inconvenient times of the day. 

Since Link was no longer allowing his mind to imagine what van life would be like with Bean along, he began to fantasize about having Rhett join him for the adventure. Would Rhett enjoy getting away from everything? Would he want to spend so much time with Link? Would Link be able to pack enough food into the smallish van to feed the big man’s appetite? These questions and more danced through his head as he went about his work day. 

If he did decide to leave town, should he invite Rhett to join him? Link had floated the idea during the recording of the mid-life crisis Ear Biscuit episode, but Rhett didn’t seem too interested in taking him up on the offer. He had been more concerned about the sleeping arrangements than what it would be like to leave their company behind for an undetermined amount of time. Link realized that the whole conversation had been played for comedic effect, but he wondered if some of it was also avoidance by Rhett to face the possibility that Link might need a break. 

With all the pressure building, Link’s van fantasies with Rhett inevitably turned intimate. He couldn’t seem to keep his feelings for Rhett from becoming mixed together with his imaginings about the big road trip. Cooking breakfast together on the outdoor stove, skinny dipping in crystal clear mountain lakes, watching Rhett as he cleaned his body in their solar shower after a long day on the beach, and of course laying down for the night in the one big bed Link planned to install in his van. He imagined what it would be like to snuggle in close to Rhett’s side, and feel the way his body curled around Link instinctually. 

Link wasn’t proud of it, but he had taken to touching himself as soon as he got home from Mythical every day. His mind wouldn’t stop replaying images of Rhett in various states of undress until Link had gotten off. He had done it Monday, Tuesday, and now he found himself here again on Wednesday evening sprawled across his bed with his hand grasped tightly around his cock. He fantasized about Rhett around him and over him. Kissing his neck and biting down on his shoulder. Link teased the head of his cock and spread the slickness down his shaft with his fingertips. He imagined it was Rhett’s hand sliding up and down loosely as those golden green eyes watched him from above. Whispering how much Rhett needed him and how he’d wanted this for years. Link teased and pinched his nipples as he stroked faster. His hips bucked up into his fist as if he were searching for more friction, something else to push him over the edge. He imagined Rhett there kneeling next to him and jerking his own hardness. Would he come on Link’s chest? In Link’s mouth? His cock throbbed at the thought. Link knew what he needed. He flipped onto his stomach and rutted his hard cock down into the mattress. At the same time he slipped two of his slick fingers back to rub over his hole. It twitched under his touch, begging to be filled with fantasy Rhett’s cock. Link pushed his fingers inside and imagined Rhett bending him over the bed in his van and fucking him slow and deep. He had never let himself imagine this before. His stomach did a flip flop and his heart raced in his chest. It felt exciting and taboo to think of his life long best friend this way, so much so that Link could no longer keep quiet. He moaned and cried out for Rhett to fuck him. To take him. To make love to him however he wanted. And it was with a thick sob and Rhett’s name on his lips that he came across his bed sheets painting a sticky mess under his stomach. Link laid there and enjoyed the endorphins for a moment before the same loneliness he had felt for months settled back over him. 

* * *

He stepped under the warm shower and thought about everything that had happened over the last couple of weeks, including tonight’s fantasies. As the water washed over his body Link realized that it was time. It was time to see what else was out there. He could no longer torture himself with visions and dreams of something that would never come true. He needed to find his happiness again. After he toweled off and dried his hair and body, Link sat down with his laptop and made a text post on his Tumblr. It read:

_ I am so excited to tell y’all that I will be starting #vanlife in two weeks. I can’t wait for the right time. There is no right time. There is only now. I have to answer my own question “Is this all there is?” Hopefully after this month I find some kind of peace and happiness. Can't wait to share this journey with y’all #vanlife #nervous but excited #solo trip #adventure awaits _

He hit publish and closed his laptop. The butterflies in his stomach were nothing compared to what he knew he would feel tomorrow when he told Rhett his plans. Maybe if he did it as part of recording Ear Biscuits it would soften the blow. Either way, Link couldn’t let himself worry about that now. He dove head first into online listings for fully equipped sprinter vans. He had a lot of work to do, and not a lot of time to do it. His #vanlife dream was almost a reality. 


	10. Chapter 10

Rhett woke up to an early morning text from Link. That wasn’t entirely unusual. They often exchanged good morning and good night texts. They hadn’t so much recently, he realized. For a while, Tat had filled that role. But it seemed Rhett had managed to push them both away, and he wasn’t waking up to messages from anyone these days. He tried not to dwell on that feeling of rejection, and the idea that there wasn’t anyone out there that couldn’t wait for a decent hour and opportunity to tell him something. 

It turned out, Link hadn’t been saying good morning. He was letting Rhett know he was running late, and wanted to meet to grab coffee before heading into the office. 

Rhett exhaled forcefully. Being a man of routine was typically Link’s department, but recently Rhett was desperately clinging to anything for a sense of security. So this relatively small change of plans hit differently than it normally would. 

Rhett’s wheels were spinning too much for him to go back to sleep, so he went ahead and started his morning stretches. He rinsed off, scrunched his hair into a presentable configuration but decided to hell with it and pulled it back into a bun. He thought his beard looked okay today. He never groomed his beard without thinking of how much it bothered Link. Link had to look at Rhett’s face more than anyone else, so it made sense that he would have an opinion on it; but sometimes Rhett would convince himself that his strong opinions on his appearance meant something else… Then there were days like today when everything felt like an ice bucket of reality, and there were no secret meanings to anyone’s opinions. It was just a bad beard. 

Rhett sat down with some hot tea and oatmeal, and decided to kill some of his extra time by idling online. He thought maybe he could stir up some endorphins by reaching out to Tat. Things hadn’t quite been the same between them since his slip up with his accounts. Not as flirty. But Tat was still a nice guy, and Rhett still enjoyed visiting his blog if only for the dreamy aesthetic that had brought them together in the first place. 

Rhett sat up straighter in his seat, and set his tea down as he read Tat’s most recent post.   


_ I am so excited to tell y’all that I will be starting #vanlife in two weeks. I can’t wait for the right time. There is no right time. There is only now. I have to answer my own question “Is this all there is?” Hopefully after this month I find some kind of peace and happiness. Can't wait to share this journey with y’all #vanlife #nervous but excited #solo trip #adventure awaits _

Rhett shook his head as a smile spread across his face. The guy was actually doing it! 

“Good for him…” Rhett said to his empty apartment, his chest warming with best wishes for this virtual stranger that had become so important to Rhett. He was already looking forward to following his adventures on his blog. 

* * *

Rhett was processing some complicated emotions as he was finally on his way to meet Link. Above all else, he was happy for Tat. But he was also sad for himself. Somehow he’d gotten it into his mind that maybe he and Tat would do something like this together. Rhett had to remind himself that Tat had given himself away as no stranger to GMM, so that hadn’t really been a practical plan. Now Tat was taking a solo journey. Probably like what Rhett had been yearning to do, but Rhett didn’t feel even close to living his out. He hated to let other men’s triumphs feel like his own failures, but man… today was hitting hard.

* * *

When he arrived at the coffee shop, Rhett was surprised to find Link already sitting at a table. He looked like he’d been there a while. Didn’t Link say he’d been running late? Was Rhett the late one now? 

Rhett made eye contact with Link before heading up to the counter, and Link gestured to a second cup that Rhett took to mean Link had already gotten his order. 

“Thanks, man.” Rhett collapsed into the seat across from Link and took a deep breath. “This is a good idea. Like a decompression chamber before heading into the office. It’s early, but it’s already been a  _ day _ !”

Link looked nervous as he picked apart the cardboard insulator on his cup. “Well, I dunno if I’m gonna make you feel any less compressed, but we’re about to find out…”

_ Oh god, what now?  _ Rhett thought. But he kept his composure. Link seemed anxious enough as it was. 

“So you remember that Ear Biscuits episode when we talked about…” Link made air quotes, “ _ ‘Hashtag Van Life’ _ ?”

Rhett nodded and his grip tightened around his drink. 

“Not right away, because it’ll take me a little time to get ready, but in a couple weeks here... I think I’m gonna give it a go. You know? Just dive in and take a month to… I dunno. See what else is out there for me?” 

Link barely took a breath, like he was afraid of what Rhett might say if given the chance to speak. 

“I think,” Link continued, “In the end, it’ll be good for us. I know you’ve seen how distracted I’ve been. I feel like I need to do this, and then once it’s done, I’ll be able to be a better ‘me’. For everybody.”

For a moment, Rhett didn’t say anything. It was hard to think when he couldn’t even breathe. He felt like the edges of the room were closing in. Like he was looking through narrow binoculars with no periphery. He was determined to support Link. He would  _ always  _ support Link. He knew that Link was desperate and hurting for something that apparently he couldn’t find with Rhett. Rhett’s chest tightened as he privately acknowledged that. He swallowed every childish part of himself that wanted to scream and cry and demand for the universe to explain why everyone was leaving him behind. 

“This is a huge step for you, Link. Deciding to actually do this thing? I—.” He took a steadying breath and forced himself to look Link in the eye. “I’m really proud of you. I hope it helps you find what you’re looking for, or if nothing else you get some great photos.”

Link beamed. The way he always had when he’d gotten Rhett’s approval, ever since they were kids. Rhett knew that he couldn’t stop Link from looking for happiness, and that it would be selfish to try. Link wasn’t leaving Rhett behind, or taking anything away from him. Maybe he was holding the door open for Rhett to use this hiatus from work to find his own happiness. But it was hard to imagine that could be true as he distantly listened to the embodiment of every happiness he’d ever felt chatter away about his preparations to  _ leave  _ him. 

Rhett went through with the rest of the workday on autopilot. He performed like a robot executing a ‘Rhett program’ nearly flawlessly. But inside he felt like shutting down. He felt numb, and empty. All he wanted to do was curl up and sleep. 

* * *

When he got home at the end of the day, that was exactly what he did. His brain did not go easy on him. His dreams were plagued by over-the-top metaphors that felt agonizingly real while he was dreaming, and then ridiculously obvious the second he woke up. He would roll his eyes, toss and turn, and then dive into another symbolic and literal nightmare. 

_ Rhett and Link were kids in the woods of North Carolina. Running together toward the Cape Fear, hand in hand. Rhett had always been the faster runner. But somehow Link was getting ahead of him. Rhett’s instinct was to tighten his grip, but he let go and watched Link sprint off toward the river. The woods began to look strange, and Rhett couldn’t see Link anymore. He didn’t know the way to the Cape Fear. Day turned to night in the blink of an eye, and Rhett felt insignificant and small as the dark woods threatened to swallow him whole.  _

Rhett grunted in his sleep, flipped himself over onto his other side and drifted back to sleep.

_ Rhett arrived at Mythical to find it locked. There was a sign taped to the door. Rhett couldn’t read it for whatever reason, but he knew it was Link’s handwriting. Rhett managed to break in, and everything was different. The ceilings were too high and everything was too dark. He intended to head to their office, but couldn’t remember where it was. The place was a maze. He finally found Link and tried to call out to him, but no sound came out. Link turned around anyway, shaking his head at Rhett and his silence. “Didn’t you see my sign?” _

Rhett gripped his blankets more tightly around himself, despite the sweat that had begun to break out across his forehead. He knew he’d been dreaming, but he couldn’t get that look of disappointment on dream Link’s face out of his head. What had he wanted from him?

_ Rhett decided to go see Link before his adventure. It was supposed to be a surprise. He approached the van with an increasingly anxious feeling that he wasn’t welcome. He walked in to find Link in bed - and he wasn’t alone. He was naked and entwined with another man. Rhett felt sick. He couldn’t stand to see him like this with someone else, but he couldn’t look away. He was beautiful. They both were. It made sense. Link and Tat had wanted the same things. Now they would find every happiness... together. They were his friends. Rhett should be happy. _

Rhett’s eyes flew open. In a cold sweat, Rhett threw his blankets onto the floor and struggled to catch his breath. He didn’t know how it was possible for him to have had such a vivid dream of Tat when he had never even seen a picture of him. As his consciousness shifted back to its waking state, Rhett could recognize that his brain had done the best it could with the little information it had to go on. He’d done a sort of mashup between Todd from the ‘Tyler and Todd’ Instagram account, and Link. Tat had said that he looked at least a little like both of those ‘internet celebs’. 

Rhett took a deep breath and tried, with an urgency that bordered on prayer, to reframe his interpretation of Link and Tat going on their journeys. They were not running away  _ from Rhett _ , they were both trying to run _ toward something _ . 

It wasn’t their fault that as they pulled away, they yanked parts of Rhett out along with them.


	11. Chapter 11

The California sun felt warm on Link’s neck and a trickle of sweat rolled down his back. He circled the navy blue Mercedes Sprinter van one more time before coming to a stop. It’s shiny finish sparkled in the sunlight. He kicked the wheels, as if he actually knew what he was looking for. His mechanic had already checked the engine and computer system and given it his seal of approval. Link stopped and rubbed the back of his neck and thought about the six figure price tag for a moment. His stomach made a nervous flip before he declared, “I’ll take it.” 

The seller, a guy from La Jolla who had driven up for the day, shook his hand and gave a big smile. “Excellent! You’re seriously gonna love it, dude.” He looked back at the van fondly. “The 4 months I spent driving this thing across Canada was the best time of my life.” 

“I know I will, man. I’m really looking forward to hitting the road.” Link smiled and patted the side of the van. “I’ll have my lawyer call you to arrange the payment and title transfer tomorrow.”

The men exchanged information and Link watched as the guy drove away. He knew it was a lot of money to drop on a whim, but what was the point of being rich if he couldn't use it to fulfill a dream. He and Rhett had not only been incredibly financially successful, but smart investments made it so he never really had to work again if he didn’t want to. Link stared off at the mountains that surrounded Los Angeles in the distance and envisioned seeing the open highway through the windshield of the van, the white lines passing under the hood as he headed toward the unknown. He huffed out a laugh of excited disbelief. He was really doing this. Link shook his head to refocus on the present. There was a lot of work that needed to be done and some modifications that he wanted to make to the van in preparation for his trip. He needed to get busy, and quick, because as of tomorrow it was only 10 days until the biggest adventure of his life. 

* * *

The next week was insane. It was Link’s last full week in town and when he wasn’t working at the studio filming extra episodes of GMM and Ear Biscuits to fill in some of the hiatus, he spent his time having his van outfitted to his particular specifications. He had a new mini fridge and a fancy coffee machine put in and he upgraded the backup generator just to be safe. Link was confident in his aesthetic after looking at so many posts and photos of other people’s vans. He went with a clean bohemian/southwest look for the interior. He had cedar planks installed on the ceiling and decorated with soft neutral tones and special accents like a navajo rug and small plants. Link ordered new linens and kitchen utensils as well as having a set of curtains custom made with a print of a map of the US on them. By far the most expensive customization he made was to have a solar power panel and battery bank installed on the roof. Link wanted to offset the gasoline he would be burning as he drove across the country by living as green as he could. 

The last thing Link upgraded was his sleeping space. He had a bed installed that folded into itself to make it twice the size as a normal van bed. He told himself this was because he was a big man and needed the extra space to sleep, but part of him couldn’t help but hope that maybe in a couple years Rhett would want to see what this van life was all about and join him for an adventure. 

Thinking about Rhett and how he had reacted to the big announcement made Link feel all kinds of ways. On one hand he was relieved to have Rhett’s support and understanding about needing some time to find himself. On the other hand part of him wished that Rhett had fought a little harder to get him to stay. If he had grabbed Link in the coffee shop and begged him not to go Link would have done it in a heartbeat. Therapy had changed Rhett for the better. Link knew his shift of life perspective would never allow Rhett to keep Link from something he needed. Even if that meant separating them from each other. 

* * *

Link ran nonstop the day before he was scheduled to leave. He stocked his van pantry and refrigerator, strapped his surfboard to the side and kayak to the roof, packed his favorite clothes and travel gear, including his new solar shower, into the storage area, and he filled up the gas tank. That evening he drove the van over to Rhett’s house to show him all the things he had been working on and to say their final goodbyes. The thought of not seeing Rhett for the next 4 weeks made Link’s chest ache. Link showed him around the van like it was a new baby. He couldn’t be more proud to show Rhett his temporary home and all the upgrades he had made. Rhett seemed impressed by the solar panels, but when it came to the custom bed he just nodded his head and asked about the gas mileage. 

Rhett grilled them steaks and vegetables and kept Link supplied with cold beer as they watched the sunset on his back porch. At the end of the night they hugged and promised to see each other in a few weeks. Link drove off watching Rhett in his rear view mirror until he could no longer see the face that had been by his side across a lifetime. 

The whole way home Link thought about the goodbye. It felt cold and empty, like there was a wall between them that they could almost see over, but not quite. It was bittersweet for Link, but Rhett had been so reserved he wasn’t sure how he felt about everything. Or if he would even really miss Link at all. He didn’t want to leave Rhett behind, but it sure felt like that was what he was doing physically and metaphorically. When Link got home he climbed into bed and fell into a restless sleep. 

* * *

The following morning the nerves and anxiety about the trip and leaving Rhett behind were replaced with excitement. The first stop on Link’s grand adventure was Redwood Creek in the middle of the Redwood National Forest. He planned on kayaking and seeing the famously tall trees. Link set the location of the park into his phone’s maps and headed North on the 5. Just as he got out of town he stopped at a truck stop to top off his gas tank. He took a picture of the sun rising over the mountain range behind the building and posted it to his Tumblr account with the caption “the journey starts today”. He finished gasing up and ran inside for a restroom break. As he was climbing back into the driver’s seat a notification dinged his phone. It was a text from Rhett.

_ Good morning, buddyroll. Made it there yet? Haha _

Link replied.

**_Uh, about this far (he attached the truck stop sunrise pic) LOL_ **

**_I’ll touch base when I get settled tonight_ **

Rhett didn’t text again. 

“Maybe things are broken between us. Maybe cutting the cord that binds us is the only way for either of us to find happiness,” Link thought out loud to himself.

He drove on North with the golden sunrise shining onto his empty passenger seat. 


	12. Chapter 12

Rhett woke up early, the sunrise still relatively low as it sharply sneaked in through his blinds. He sighed, and found that he was breathing easier. He had really needed last night’s emotional release. Seeing Link off had been the hardest thing he’d ever done.

When Link hugged Rhett before they parted last night, Link had unwittingly sunk hooks into Rhett; and as he left Rhett behind, he left him absolutely gutted. Rhett had felt hollow, nauseous, and completely empty. Link had also walked out with the last trace of Rhett’s shame, because Rhett openly cried himself to sleep. He was done trying to reframe their upcoming month apart as something ‘good for Link’, or some kind of ‘opportunity for personal development’ for himself. He finally fully embraced the full extent of his yearning and his jealousy; his sense of ‘FOMO’ and his heartache. He ugly-cried in his bed until his pillow and beard were salty, soggy messes. 

Rhett looked at the time on his phone, and in the dawning light of morning it occurred to him that Link would have started his journey by now. He could feel the tide of emotions threatening to rush back in. He knew he’d probably have to let it wash over him again eventually, but he wasn’t ready yet. 

He distracted himself, as he so often did, by shifting his attention to Tumblr. He didn’t know if seeing Tat making his own preparations would make things better or worse. But he wasn’t sure what worse could possibly feel like at this point. That curiosity alone was enough to propel him forward toward Tat’s blog. 

Rhett’s eyebrows furrowed, and his brain felt like it was contracting, like a muscle. Tat had posted a stunning shot of the sunrise over some mountains just outside of LA. Rhett examined the image for any evidence that Tat was not the original poster, but it seemed to be Tat’s photo. 

“The journey starts today.” The caption read. 

_The same day as Link? The same time? And in the same direction?_

What were the chances? This was either a huge coincidence or… could it be something else? 

Rhett’s heart didn’t know whether to speed up, slow down, or stop entirely. His hands began to tremble as he fumbled with his phone to send a text message to Link. 

_Good morning, buddyroll. Made it there yet? Haha_

Rhett held his breath as he waited for a reply. 

**_Uh, about this far_ **

**_LOL_ **

**_I’ll touch base when I get settled tonight_ **

Rhett held his phone so tightly, he thought he might break it into pieces. He could not believe what he was seeing. Link had attached an image of a picturesque sunrise from a gas station. The exact photo that “Tat” had posted to his blog!

Rhett stood up and walked toward the door, then he abruptly turned toward his bedroom, then he abandoned all intention and paced for a bit before walking into the kitchen. He poured himself an ice cold glass of water, and watched it slosh over the rim as he brought it to his lips with shaky hands. 

Flashes of the messages between Tat and Bean ran through Rhett’s mind. He grappled with disbelief, even as the undeniable evidence piled up. Link had a crush on someone he saw daily, a coworker, someone so close he thought exposing his crush might destroy his life. He had watched this person from across the room, called him _handsome_ , and openly wondered what would happen if he kissed him. 

Everything in Rhett’s brain wanted to guard against the risk of having the rug yanked out from under him. Like it was trying to protect him from daring to accept the truth. 

Rhett was Link’s crush. 

“Holy shit!” Rhett scrubbed his hands down his face. 

This knowledge was somehow simultaneously the warmest sensation Rhett had ever felt, and a bucket of ice water. Everything had changed in an instant. At the same time, nothing had changed. Link was out there driving to the Redwood National Forest, none the wiser that he was driving away from the person that he had spent months confessing both to and about. He had to tell Link! He couldn’t let Link leave for a month without knowing that his feelings were _not_ unrequited. He didn’t want to let him go another second believing that. But how would he convince him? How could he show him how very real this all was? And now could Rhett properly gauge Link’s reaction?

Rhett had to do better than text, or talk to him over the phone. He had to _go_ to him. 

Part of him wanted to get into his car that second, and drive nonstop until he caught up with Link. But he didn’t just want to catch up, he wanted to really join him. He felt his body heat up thinking about all the ways that he wanted to ‘join with him’. And then a nervous excitement slowly spread through him. For the first time since he’d started having those thoughts about Link, it seemed entirely possible that these fantasies would manifest in reality. It was overwhelming. 

* * *

Rhett exercised every ounce of self control not to speed to REI. He was fueled by the clear memories of the tags that had accompanied the photos on Link’s blog. Tags about living his dream with his crush. About his crush being the love of his life. Rhett could not remember a time when he hadn’t _ached_ for Link to want those things with him. Now the moment arrived; and Rhett had to embrace the clarity, and have patience to wait another day or two as he made his preparations. 

Rhett felt as if Beau Miles had been preparing him personally with all the content he had consumed. He was prepared to spend whatever amount of money it took to equip himself with the travel gear and adventure tools that he would need to help Link have the experience of his dreams, of both their dreams. 

When he got home from his shopping spree, he had one final purchase to make: a one-way plane ticket to Sacramento. From there he would be able to take a shuttle to the Redwoods where he would find Link waiting for him (without knowing that he was waiting for him). Rhett could almost feel Link’s body in his arms. He smiled as he felt happy tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. When was the last time that he'd hugged Link without feeling insecure - like he was trying to anchor him to keep him from drifting away? He looked forward to embracing him fully, their mutual yearnings disclosed. Nothing left unsaid between them. 

Despite his excitement, Rhett was able to lie in bed that night physically comfortable and fully at ease. He no longer felt the inclination to curl up tightly around a pit of emptiness in his gut. 

His mind still raced to tie up all the loose ends, and reconcile his relationships with Link and Tat. He thought about all the evening conversations he’d been having with Tat, after spending all day with Link. His evenings sharing his dreams with the only person he had ever discussed his crush with. 

Rhett nearly laughed out loud when he recalled his cringey slip up with his main account. _Of course_ Link had been uncomfortable about “Bean” having a Rhink stan account! Of course he had put distance between them, for the same reason that Rhett had eased up on the flirting when he realized that Tat knew who ‘Rhett and Link’ were. They didn’t engage with fans like that. Though Rhett suspected Link might make an exception for his _biggest_ fan, and do-creator. Even if Link took this revelation as well as Rhett was hoping he would, Rhett knew he’d still have to take a lot of good-natured shit from Link about having that account. And about reading their own fanfiction. But Rhett figured he could take it, as long as he got to be with Link. 

Rhett began to drift off to sleep with a smile on his face, when a stray thought made him shoot bolt upright in bed. He brought both hands up to his wildly unkempt beard as one hundred flashbacks hit him all at once. Link _hated_ his beard like this. Something deep in his bones assured him that Link wouldn’t reject him because of it. But he wanted more than acceptance from Link. Rhett wanted Link to be knocked breathless and blown away by him when he showed up to confess his love. He wanted to be perfect for him. The beard and hair experiment had taught him that he could take up space without doing so for the approval of the masses. He had learned that he didn’t need the world’s approval to have inherent worth. And with that knowledge, he felt confident in his decision to choose to groom himself for Link. Link’s approval mattered, because he was not ‘the world’. He was so much more than that. 

Rhett couldn’t wait until morning. He rushed into the bathroom to trim and shape his beard before finally going to sleep. 


	13. Chapter 13

The drive up the coast went far better than Link had expected. He couldn’t help, but be mesmerized by the incredible scenery. With the mountains on one side and the ocean on the other, Link was pretty sure California was the most beautiful place he had ever seen. He knew he was blessed to live there, but he also recognized that there was so much more of the US to explore that he may one day find something even more breathtaking. Link was excited by the chance to discover it, whatever it may be. He stopped for lunch just outside of San Francisco and refilled the gas tank. The weather was perfect, traffic was good, and even though he didn’t feel comfortable pushing the sprinter van over 65 mph, Link still made decent time and pulled into the Redwood National Forest campsite around 7 that evening. 

The trees were so tall they seemed to touch the sky as he drove down the remote roads to his home for the next two nights. The spot that Link was assigned was perfect. It was secluded and he would be able to feel like he was really part of the nature that surrounded him. Any worries he had about his van fitting in a normal campsite were proven unnecessary. He was able to pull in and still have plenty of room to put out a camp chair next to the fire ring that was there. It was too late to start one that night but Link knew after kayaking the next day nothing would be more relaxing than sitting next to a camp fire and enjoying the sounds of the beautiful forest around him. He posted a picture on TylerandTodd-are-goalz of his van in the campsite with the caption “Living the dream”. And he sent the picture and a map with a pin dropped at his exact location to Flanagan at Mythical. It was a good business practice to make sure the company knew where he was at all times on this road trip for insurance purposes. 

Link made himself an easy dinner on the new camp stove he had installed in the van, a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches and a salad on the side. He got his day backpack ready to take out the next morning and laid out the clothes he wanted to wear for his first adventures. He would leave his kayak strapped to the top of the van until the morning for security reasons.

The creek ran alongside this section of the camping area. Link put his phone into his pocket and walked down to get a look at the rushing water as it flowed by. He found a seat on a large flat rock next to the creek and sat quietly for a few moments taking in the beauty that surrounded him. Link hadn’t seen stars like this since he and Rhett camped out next to the Cape Fear River. He had always been so nervously excited about those trips. There seemed to be some kind of energy that surrounded him and Rhett when they camped together. Almost as if there was no one else in the world when they were alone on that river bank. Link thought about how many times he had stopped himself from reaching out and touching Rhett in the dark of their tent or curling into his side as they slept. What would have happened if he had had the courage to follow through on those instincts? Now he may never know. 

Link took a picture of the star filled sky that was visible though the branches of the evergreens surrounding him. He posted the pic on his TAT Tumblr account and then sent it to Rhett by text. No caption included. Link knew this trip was supposed to be about getting to know himself, but he was finding it hard to cut the cord. He hadn’t heard from Rhett all day and was worried that the other man might be angry at him for leaving. The desire to share this experience with Rhett still burned in his stomach. He wanted his friend to see the stars, to hear the water rushing by, to watch the lighting bugs in the trees. He wanted Rhett there with him... really with him. In his heart and in his bed. Maybe these thoughts of Rhett would fade. Maybe being away from him would get easier. 

Link headed back to his van to close things up for the night. He washed his dishes and cleaned up the day's trash. He changed into his night clothes and climbed into the van bed. Link’s stomach was nervous with excitement for the next day’s adventures. As he snuggled down into the blankets, he couldn’t help but check his phone one last time to see if Rhett had texted him back. Still nothing. He turned off the lights and drifted off to sleep. 

* * *

Sunlight coming in through the van windows woke Link the next morning well before his alarm went off. He made himself a cup of coffee and ate a breakfast of oatmeal and fresh fruit. Getting rid of his routine smoothie was one of the first things that Link had to change when he decided to live this van life. A blender just wasn’t a practical kitchen appliance to have on a road trip. He changed clothes and put on his new hiking shoes. The person at REI had explained that trail runners were considered far superior to hiking boots these days. Link hoped they would prove to be as comfortable as they were stylish because his first adventure of the day was hiking the 4 mile Tall Trees Grove trail that led to some mammoth sized Redwoods. 

Link grabbed his backpack and caught a shuttle at the park office that would take him down to the trail head. The trail was well marked so a map wasn’t really necessary, but he kept the All Trails app open on his phone just in case he got off the path. It was also handy because it showed him where all the main attractions of this trail would be. As he hiked Link couldn’t help, but be blown away by the size of the forest around him. There was a kind of reverence about the way the Redwoods surrounded him and made a roof over his head. The closest thing Link could think to compare it to was a cathedral. And that made sense because the place felt holy. Not in a religious way, but in the sense that it was so grand, so awe inspiring, and yet so pure and grounded in nature that he couldn’t help but feel connected to the universe.

He hiked on, snapping pictures as he went. He made sure to put his phone in his pocket at times too and experience this with all of his senses, but he also wanted to have plenty of documentation to spur his memories in the future. Link rested his phone on a rock and used the timer to take pics of himself next to the tallest of the trees that he saw. He pictured himself describing the things he saw in detail to Rhett and smiled. 

“Can't get you off my mind, buddyroll,” Link said under his breath. He shook his head clear and walked on. 

Once he made the full loop and ended back up at the trailhead, Link caught a shuttle back to his van. He had to get the kayak down from the roof and make it to his scheduled lesson by 2pm. He had vowed when he started this whole thing not to live by a schedule, but this was an exception. There was no way Link was going to attempt to kayak down a river without some professional instruction under his belt. 

Link changed into his old tennis shoes and ate a quick lunch before pulling his orange kayak off the roof of the van. He carried the lightweight boat over his head down to the shore and saw a man with a “KAYAK PROS” tshirt on. After confirming this was his instructor the lesson began. Link was a quick study. In no time he had learned how to balance and paddle and mastered the art of the kayak roll just in case a rapid flipped him over and he needed to right himself. He couldn’t help but think about how proud Rhett would be of how quickly he had picked it up. Link just knew Rhett would be a natural at kayaking too. 

For the next 3 hours Link and his instructor paddled along the Redwood Creek. They started out in some easy sections where they could take their time and enjoy the scenery around them. The smell of the evergreens was so strong here that it reminded Link of a candle. He filled his lungs with the fresh air and embraced what it felt like to be present in this place. No plans, no responsibilities. Just to be. 

They finished their time kayaking by tackling some white water. The rush of paddling through the rapids was better than any drug Link had tried. It took all of his attention to focus on making the right decisions to stay upright. The push and pull of the water was intense and by the time the instructor dropped Link back off at the shore line by his campsite he was totally exhausted. His first day of adventure had been everything he had ever dreamed of. Hiking and kayaking left Link starving and smelling like river water. As he walked back towards his van holding his kayak over his head, Link thought about how much he would love to tell Rhett about the day's adventures. He dropped the boat on the ground and walked around to the other side of the van where he had hung his solar shower. When Link turned the corner he saw someone sitting in his camp chair by a roaring fire. 

“Can I help you?” Link asked. The glare of the setting sun was obscuring his vision and he held his hand up to shield his eyes. 

The man turned and Link’s mouth dropped open. 

“Rhett?!”


	14. Chapter 14

Rhett took the natural beauty around him for granted as the shuttle from the airport took him to Redwood National Forest. Rationally, Rhett was aware that he was being driven along one of the most scenic routes he’d ever traversed, but he couldn’t keep the blinders off as they careened through the tall trees. He kept cycling through an endlessly looping thought pattern. He knew in no uncertain terms, through his many exchanges with Tat, exactly how Link felt about him. His feelings were fully reciprocated. Link was going to be happy to see him, and hear what he had to say. But then his brain would try to convince him that all of it was some kind of mistake; that it wasn’t that simple and that Rhett would be rejected. And then Rhett would remember blocks of text that Tat had sent him, gushing about this best friend and coworker of his. Wondering what it felt like to taste their lips. Or to wake up next to them. And then Rhett’s heart would warm, and the thought cycle would repeat. 

After the shuttle dropped him off, Rhett had a short hike before getting to the area that Link had pinned as his campsite. Once he was out in the fresh air, he began to let his surroundings seep in. This place was as surreal as it was beautiful. He thought back to his and Link’s hikes through the woods near the Cape Fear when they were kids. They thought they’d seen some big trees then! They had found a tree that, if he recalled correctly, took three bodies to wrap their lanky arms all the way around its trunk. The trees Rhett was seeing now would probably take ten people. He pressed his palm against the bark of a Redwood, as if he could absorb some of that ancient strength and groundedness. 

He found Link’s camp, but he didn’t find Link. Rhett checked photos and plate numbers to convince himself that he wasn’t trespassing on anyone other than Link. Rhett supposed it made sense that he’d be out hiking or something. That’s why he’d come out here on this adventure. Not to mope around his campfire all day hoping Rhett would show up. Rhett felt more at home just knowing that he was among Link’s belongings. He walked around to the other side of the van and found a camping chair and a fire ring. 

Late afternoon was a little early, but cleaning the fire pit and stoking a new fire gave Rhett something to do to pass the time. Once he had the fire going, the warmth and light gave him a sense of peace as he sank deeper into the atmosphere of the forest. The greens were greener than anything he’d ever seen. These were the majestic colors that inspired Instagram filters. The trees were so tall they threatened to trigger the sense of vertigo that he experienced when his fear of heights kicked in. He didn’t often have the opportunity to feel so small, and the longer he sat with that feeling the more comforting it became. 

Rhett was falling into a near-meditative state when he heard a voice as familiar as his own inside his head call out from behind him. 

“Can I help you?”

Link’s question hung in the air for a moment, answered only by the roaring fire. Rhett took a steadying breath before he slowly turned to face Link. The setting sun was obscuring his vision, and Rhett had to hold his hand up to adjust the stiff bill of his cap to shield his eyes. Even with his jaw hanging open in disbelief, Link was breathtaking, illuminated in the late evening sunset. 

“Rhett?” 

Rhett stood up from the camping chair to fully face Link. He knew he had to rip this bandaid off. He couldn’t allow himself to ease into the conversation, or they would fall into their comfortable patterns and it would become harder and harder to disrupt that easy way of being with each other that was already _so good_. But recent events had shown, it hadn’t been good enough. Rhett clung to that thought as he forced himself to look Link in the eyes and project the words that were clinging to the back of his throat for safety. 

“Todd never went off on an adventure without Tyler.”

If Link’s jaw hadn’t been hanging open earlier, it was on the ground now. 

“I’m just sayin,” Rhett continued, “If that’s the ‘goal’, you were supposed to take Tyler with you.”

“I- You- How-“ Link struggled to begin. “Why do you know those names, Rhett?”

Rhett sighed heavily. “I’m ‘Bean’, man.”

Link shook his head in disbelief.

Rhett felt that if he allowed silence to creep in, they’d suffocate in it. 

“I finally put it together when you sent me the same photo as Tat posted on his blog. On _your_ blog.”

“This can’t be real. You can’t be… I mean _Bean_ , Rhett? A little obvious, don’t you think?”

Rhett snorted. “ _You_ didn’t figure it out.”

“That’s because it’s impossible! That would mean…”

Rhett watched as Link tried to put it all together. Making the connections, and reorienting their previous exchanges through this new lens. 

“Shit… I left without Tyler.” Link finally murmured under his breath. 

Rhett smiled softly. “Did you know that Tyler and Todd were college sweethearts?”

Link shrugged. “I think I’ve seen mentions of that in some of their captions.”

“Well, you and I have been committed to each other since the first grade. That makes us a better love story than Tyler and Todd.” Rhett extended an open hand toward Link. “I think Rhett and Link ‘are goals’.”

Link took his hand, and Rhett’s heart sped up. He watched Link’s eyes move from their joined hands up to meet his eyes, and he melted under the heat of this new and honest intimacy. 

“Is that what we are, Rhett? A love story?”

Rhett felt tears begin to prickle at the corners of his eyes, dry and reddened from his whirlwind planning and traveling and emotional processing. 

“I think so. A hell of a slow burn, but yeah...”

“Ha!” Link laughed, and a tear slipped out from behind his glasses, while he was smiling from ear to ear. Rhett brought his other thumb up to massage the dampness from Link’s cheek. 

A look of epiphany sparked across Link’s face. “ _You!_ You have a _rhink_ side-blog!”

“I do not!” Rhett objected. “The rhink one is not a side-blog! It’s actually my main.”

They both laughed.

When they caught their breath, Rhett took a moment to appreciate Link’s hand in his, his other hand cradling Link’s face. 

“What can I say, Link? I ship it. _Hard_.”

Link reached up to remove Rhett’s hat and tossed it to the ground. He brought his fingers up to shake out his matted hat-hair. He left his hands on either side of Rhett’s bearded face. “You trimmed it,” he whispered. 

Link rose up to kiss him, and Rhett had never reciprocated anything with such ferocity. He wrapped his arms around Link like their lives depended on the sureness of his grip. Holding him as a physical manifestation of the unspoken assurance that he was never going to let him go again. Link moaned into the kiss, and a feeling of need rippled through Rhett’s body. And he hoped that Link could feel it, feel _him_ , through the thin fabric of the lightweight joggers he’d hiked to the campsite in. In response, Link leaned into Rhett, pressing his body against Rhett’s hardness. 

“I smell like sweat and river water,” Link mumbled against Rhett’s lips. 

“Don’t care.”

“Yeah, but… _I_ care. I… think I wanna shower first, if that’s okay?”

Rhett’s quick-beating heart was in his throat, and his loins ached for Link. They were _so_ close. He took a breath before replying, “We’ve waited this long. I think I can wait for the span of a shower.”

Link’s smile conveyed equal parts shyness and mischief. “You could join me?”

Rhett liked the sound of that. He could have easily moved forward, and ignored the film that had no doubt settled on his skin after his travel and small hike. But the idea of rinsing off with Link and starting clean, fresh and naked; that undoubtedly appealed to him. 

“Lead the way.”

Link had shown Rhett his solar shower set up back before he left. But Rhett was seeing everything with new eyes, now that he wasn’t distracted by his yearning. He was able to take in details that his brain hadn’t had space for when he was preoccupied by pining.

“This is really cool,” Rhett told him. 

Link ignored his compliments as he prepared his overhead shower set up and drew the curtain around them. Rhett hadn’t seen any neighboring sites, but he enjoyed the privacy nonetheless. 

“May I?” Rhett asked as he reached for the hem of Link’s shirt. 

Link nodded wordlessly. 

Rhett wanted to tell him not to be nervous. But he was nervous too, and he liked that they could be nervous together. 

He peeled Link’s shirt off of him, and then moved to take his own off. Rhett removed Link’s glasses and bundled them securely in their shirts before tossing them outside the curtain. He sucked air sharply as Link’s hands boldly flew to the elastic band of his joggers and slid them, along with his underwear, down over his hips and the warm air between their bodies hit his exposed cock. He had never felt so _seen_ as he did under Link’s intense gaze when his blue eyes traveled down his body, following intently every square inch of skin as it was gradually revealed. 

Once Link had joined Rhett in shedding the rest of his clothing, he started the water. 

Seeing Link naked, wet and slippery, Rhett was sure that he’d be waking up at any moment from another one of his dreams - wet and sticky. 

But the dream was real, and he watched the crystalline trails of water travel over the perfect terrain of Link’s body. 

Rhett touched his cheek lightly, tentative despite having never been more sure of anything in his life. He didn’t want to overwhelm Link; yet he was completely overwhelmed _by_ him. 

“Don’t, Rhett,” Link said just loud enough to be heard over the sound of the shower.

Rhett looked down at him with concern. He’d barely touched him. 

“I’m sorry?”

“No, just… You’re always trying to downplay your size to make sure no one feels intimidated, and I—“ Link paused, and even over his skin pink from the day’s sun, Rhett detected a blush. “I've been dreamin’ about how _big_ you are for… _decades_. So, please, don’t try to make yourself small. Let me feel every inch.”

Rhett wrapped the entirety of Link’s body in the embrace of one of his own large, sun-bronzed arms. Their faces pressed together for another kiss. The streaming shower water was unable to penetrate the seal their lips created. 

Rhett helped Link to wash the sweat and ripeness of nature from his body, and allowed Link to do the same for him. It was a nice warm up, or study session for what was to come. Rhett had spent a lot of time looking at Link’s body, and feeling like he’d memorized every feature; filing away details for private and self-servicing purposes. But now that it was being offered openly and intentionally, Rhett was seeing him for the first time. Rhett felt Link’s hands roaming over his own body, and he imagined that Link was engaging in the same exercise: trying to feel out all the areas that he’d overlooked as he’d removed the blinders of being someone on the outside, of being someone _other_. 

Link had turned to lean his back against Rhett’s front, fully resting into the expanse of Rhett’s chest. Rhett wrapped his arms around Link’s smaller frame with ease, hoping this would indulge Link’s apparent desire to feel the size of him. He enveloped Link’s body with his embrace, and dared to lower a hand to touch Link’s cock. Link threw his head back toward Rhett’s shoulder, jaw slightly opened with pleasure; wet hair plastered to his forehead. 

Every cell in Rhett’s body was crying out for Link, knowing that with each new connection he forged with Link’s body they filled the few remaining gaps in their intimacy. They’d always been seen as inseparable; now, finally, they were going to be one. 

“I need you,” Link husked. 

“Here?” Rhett asked, wondering if he was coordinated enough to do everything he wanted to do in the slippery confines of this makeshift shower, and quite sure that Link was definitely not. 

“No, man,” Link said with a small giggle as he turned the water off. Link turned around and pressed his naked body to Rhett’s and craned his neck to steal another kiss. “Get in my van.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Rhett was smiling, but there was a faraway residual ache of truth to the cliché statement. He could feel Link’s need long and hard, pressed against his thigh. 

They left their clothes on the forest floor as Rhett followed Link’s cute bare ass to the van. If there had been any neighboring campers, they’d have gotten quite an eyeful. 

Link opened the rear doors of his van to reveal the neat and cozy bed. 

“I told you there was plenty of room for you!” He reminded Rhett proudly. 

“I wish I’d known what to listen for in that statement…”

“You got here anyway,” Link offered as reassurance, extending a hand to help Rhett up into the bed, and closing the doors. 

They lay next to each other for a moment in the silence of the shared space. They breathed each other in, almost synchronizing their breaths. 

“Oh!” Rhett realized. “I, uh… My bag’s outside. It’s got my… gear and what not.”

“What kind of gear do you think you need?” Link asked playfully. “A hydro flask? Headlamp? First aid kit? Because I gotta say, my interest is piqued!”

They both laughed, and it felt good to hold Link and really feel his laughter and energy. It felt _right_ to be laughing together. It was comforting to Rhett. Humor was shared familiar territory, and they were heading somewhere new. As bad as he wanted to get to that novel destination together, it was a little scary. But the fact that they could still laugh together, and tease each other… It let Rhett know that whatever happened, it was still _them_. The new didn’t replace the old. It was all one. 

“I meant lube,” Rhett confessed awkwardly.

“I have some in here.” Link wiggled free from Rhett’s hold and reached into a storage compartment near the bed to retrieve the bottle. 

“Why did you bring _that_ for a solo trip?!”

“Maybe you just answered your own question,” Link winked. “Solo _excursions_?”

Rhett kissed him and cuddled him closer. “That’s… kind of hot. Really hot.”

“Or maybe it’s for the same reason this bed’s too freakin firm.”

“Are you kidding me? This bed is perfect. Great for my back…”

“Exactly,” Link said softly, no longer teasing. “I… I never meant to do this without you.”

Rhett’s chest tightened with emotion. “Like you said, I got here anyway.”

“I’m so sorry, Rhett. I left you behind. I was just so scared, and I made a huge mistake.”

“Hey,” Rhett insisted. “We were both scared, and now we’re both here. We’re still good.”

Link nodded, and Rhett kissed the corners of his eyes where tears were threatening to spring forward. 

“I need you,” Link’s voice nearly broke as he said those words for the second time that day. 

Rhett wouldn’t make him say them a third time. He rolled Link onto his back and kissed his lips, and nuzzled kisses under Link’s strong and lightly stubbled jaw. 

Link’s hands were all over Rhett’s broad back. It was like he was exploring for sure holds that he could desperately cling to to keep Rhett from falling away from him ever again. His hands gradually moved up Rhett’s body to settle in his thick waves of hair as Rhett moved down Link’s naked form until he was planting kisses and nibbles on sharp hip bones. 

Link’s cock was hard and begging when Rhett wrapped a hand around it and gave it a couple of soft, reverent strokes before lowering his lips to the flushed and leaking tip. A sound caught between a moan and a sigh was ripped from Link’s throat as Rhett took him gradually into his mouth. Link’s fists tightened in Rhett’s hair making him growl around the dick in his mouth. But Rhett didn’t pull back or object. He familiarized himself with the velvety feel and taste of him as Link’s size filled his small mouth. Rhett hummed around the length as he took more and more of him into his mouth. He felt Link shudder as he began to bob his head up and down his shaft. Rhett’s spit merged with Link’s precome and it was unlike anything he’d tasted; and they had tasted quite an array of flavors over their GMM career. Rhett shamelessly slurped and lapped it all up as he felt Link’s cock become increasingly firm under his tongue. Like a rubber band stretching for the inevitable snap. But Rhett wasn’t ready to break him off that quickly. 

Rhett pulled slowly off of him and smiled at Link’s little whine of a protest. He stretched to hover himself above the length of Link’s lithe, hard body to grab the lube. 

Rhett felt a pang of some undefinable emotion clenching in his chest. He already loved Link, he realized now he had for _so_ very long. Rationally, he knew that this physical act wasn’t going to change that in any way. But there was an irrational part of his brain that seemed to have equal voice in his mind and his heart that believed that once they shared this together, once he had been literally inside Link in a way that complimented how Link had been spiritually inside Rhett’s heart, there would be no turning back for Rhett. He would love Link for the rest of his life, and could only hope that Link could return the enduring sentiment. 

_This won’t change anything,_ Rhett told himself

 _This changes everything_ , Rhett answered himself. 

Rhett slicked up his fingers and slipped them between Link’s welcomingly opened thighs. He massaged Link’s inner thighs and helped him to relax and soften his hips. Rhett gradually worked his gentle touches to part Link’s cheeks and press fingertips to his puckered entrance. 

“Just breathe,” Rhett soothed. 

“I’m tryin’.”

“I’ll go slow, bo. Not gonna hurt ya.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Link chuckled. The humor did seem to relax him, and Link opened easily for Rhett’s thick fingers. “God, Rhett. Hnnngh.”

Rhett watched how Link’s whole body responded to him. Core writhing, gorgeous angular shoulders tightening up to his chin and then relaxing as he elongated his slender neck, jaw falling open with each groan of pleasure and every needy whine and beg. Rhett lifted his larger frame to hover over Link’s body. He balanced himself on one trembling forearm as he shifted to make sure they were both wet and ready; lining himself up with Link’s hole. 

Rhett took a deep breath, and tried to swallow down any lingering nerves. He opened himself to a moment of vulnerability. 

“This can’t be a mistake,” he said in a hoarse whisper, their faces inches apart. “I don’t think we will survive if there’s any chance you might regret this… I know _I_ won’t.”

Ultimately, that had been the thing that had held Rhett back all this time. So many opportunities for things to fall apart. They were about to put all their eggs in one basket, and hope that their years of careful weaving meant that the basket was going to hold together and carry those eggs through the rest of their lives. 

“The only mistake,” Link said firmly, with no trace of doubt. “Is that it took us so dang long.” Link pulled Rhett’s face down to kiss his smiling face. “Now, Rhett. Please. Fuck me?”

Rhett took his heavy cock in hand and pressed slowly into Link. His eyes rolled back as he felt the hot squeeze of Link’s body contracting, trying to relax and welcome him deeper inside. When he looked down at Link his eyes were squeezed shut and he seemed to be holding his breath. 

“I got you,” Rhett told him with the remaining air he held in his lungs. “You feel so good.”

Rhett moved his hand from his cock as it was swallowed inside Link’s body. He used his now freed hand to massage the underside of Link’s ass, and then his hip, encouraging his lower body to be at ease. 

“Fuck,” Link whined with a voice that kept fluctuating between reedy and gravelly. “You’re so big.”

Rhett felt his hips knock against the underside of Link’s thighs, Link had taken all he had to give. “You said you liked me _big_.”

“I _love_ it. Oh my goodness. I’m so… _full_.”

Rhett brought both arms up over Link’s shoulders, and rested his upper body on his forearms, sheltering Link’s body with his own. 

Rhett lowered his head to husk in Link’s ear, “I can feel you stretching around my thick cock.”

“Fuck, Rhett,” Link gasped. “I like when you talk like that..”

“Yeah? You like when I talk about my big dick buried deep in your _tight_ , _hot_ ass?”

“Yesss,” Link hissed, shifting his hips. 

“What else do you like?”

“Want you to start moving inside me.”

Rhett dug his knees into the firm mattress for leverage, and began to rock his hips down into Link, feeling out his rhythm as Link pushed back. 

They fell into sync naturally, as they always did with everything they’d ever tried to do together. Rhett couldn’t help wondering why they’d ever thought to do this _one thing_ with anyone other than the other person. It all felt very silly with this incredible new clarity. 

Rhett pulled out to his tip and then pushed back in smoothly with more confident strokes. Link tried to widen the spread of his legs for Rhett to feel him more deeply. The same goal in mind, Rhett grabbed one of Link’s long legs, easily wrapping his large hand all the way around Link’s ankle, and lifted it up over his shoulder. He grew more bold with his thrusts as Link began to beg for it _harder_.

“Yes, Rhett! Give it to me like _that_ . Harder! Fuck! Yeah… like that. _Harder_. Need to _feel_ you. I wanna feel you the next day.”

“Oh, if you think we’re not doing this again tomorrow, you’re crazy! I don’t ever wanna _not_ be doin’ this. We’re gonna have to quit our jobs.”

“Hmmm. I like the sound of that, but I meant that I wanna feel the ache of you, even when you’re not fucking me. Wanna feel stretched, raw, bruised.”

“Damn, Link…”

“Don’t judge me!”

“I’m not! I just… it’s very.. sexy. To hear you say stuff like that.”

“Can you do that for me though?” Link kissed him, and pinched his bottom lip between his teeth until it actually hurt. “Will you fuck me like that? With your big dick and your strong body?”

“Nnngh,” Rhett grunted. He folded Link’s leg that was up over his shoulder down to meet Link’s shoulder instead. He spread Link’s opposite hip farther than it likely was comfortable opening. But Link didn’t sound like he was objecting to being opened up like that. Rhett began to piston his hips relentlessly, grinding up inside of him when his hip bones kissed Link’s skin. Rhett dripped sweat onto Link’s already sweaty body, bucking and thrusting with everything he had. He didn’t think he could last much longer. His body was beginning to hum with the need for release. 

“Right there ,” Link moaned. “Right there!”

Rhett maintained the angle, pace, and intensity of his thrusts and watched in awe as Link began to fall apart beneath him. His soft and perfect mouth was silently and ceaselessly chanting a litany of prayers that wouldn’t have been welcome in any church they’d attended as kids. 

“I’m gonna come, Rhett!” Link announced in a high breathy whine. “Please don’t stop.”

“Never,” Rhett promised. 

“Make me come! I’m so close.”

“Got you, babe..” he grunted. The pet name mindlessly fell from his lips.

Link wrapped a hand around his engorged cock, and his back began to arch up off the bed. Each exhale was a higher pitched moan until a low groan erupted as Link stroked himself through his orgasm. 

Rhett’s rhythm fell apart as he felt Link coming undone all around him. He had a couple of long slow thrusts left in him before his breaths began to hitch. 

“Come inside me, Rhett,” Link urged, just in time for Rhett to do as he asked. 

He emptied himself inside of Link with a growl before collapsing on top of him. 

“Oh my god, Link…” Rhett sighed into Link’s sweaty, disheveled hair. 

Link grunted and pushed against Rhett. “You’re crushin’ me.”

Rhett slid, wet and spent, out of Link and leaned onto his side to let Link breathe. 

“Been crushin’ on you a long, long time.”

“Babe?”

“Huh?”

“You called me that.. you know, _during_? I liked it.”

Rhett smiled. “I been crushin’ on you a long time, _babe_.”

Link clung to Rhett, with all of the tightness of his earlier grip, but less of the desperation. It felt like they both breathed easier. Like the universe had balanced itself a little. 

“My head is spinning,” Link sighed.

“You’re welcome.”

Link rolled his eyes. “Not that. Well, I mean, yeah… Yes, _that_. I just meant that this is a lot to, I don't dare say ‘take in’.”

Rhett snorted. 

“It’s a lot to _process._ ”

Rhett nodded. “We don’t have to process everything tonight. We’ve waited this long. Surely, some things can wait.”

“I’ll tell you what can’t wait,” Link rolled around to push the rear doors of the van open. “We gotta air this confined space out a little bit. It’s hotter’n hell in here.” 

The doors opened to frame the forest in a brilliant orange glow of sunset. The scene was stunning. It seemed to have Link frozen at the sight. 

Rhett sat up and scooted over to wrap his arms around him from behind. Link lifted a hand to cover one of Rhett’s forearms draped across his chest, and he rested his head against Rhett’s chest, not taking his eyes from the view of the trees glowing in the remnants of the evening light. 

“This is…” Link’s voice was weak with emotion. “This is everything I ever dared dream of.”

“There is one thing that can’t wait even one more day, Link.”

Link craned his neck back to look at Rhett. 

Rhett cleared his throat, and made a conscious decision to leave out disclaimers like ‘as you probably realized’ or ‘if you couldn’t tell’. 

“I’m in love with you, Link. I’ve always been so completely and hopelessly in love with you, before I even realized it.”

Link grinned and offered his lips for a kiss, which Rhett was only too happy to give. 

“I love you, too, Rhett. Thank you for finding me.”


	15. Chapter 15

The last day Rhett and Link spent in Redwood National Forest was like a dream. They alternated between hiking through the otherworldly forest, taking cheesy couples pics along the way, and making out behind the larger than life trees. Anyone who didn’t know better would have thought they were tacky tourists. The pair absolutely loved it. Every time Link would pull out his phone to check the Trails app, Rhett would snag him around the waist and pull him into some hidden alcove. He would get his hands all over Link’s body and kiss him silly, until he couldn’t remember if they even had any other plans for the day. Eventually the men gave up on sight seeing and retreated back to the van to spend the afternoon making love and plotting out their next adventure. 

They decided to drive the 12 hours to Great Basin National Park, Nevada. It was a long stretch, but that was the point of having a home on wheels, road tripping in the ultimate comfort. Once they were out of the lush green of California, the scenery turned brown and dry. It was a desolate stretch of road hundreds of miles long filled with desert and cactus, but the skies were blue and clear. Halfway through the day and after much discussion, Link finally handed the keys over to Rhett to let him drive for a while. The van was his new baby and Link wanted to keep it safe, but he realized the silliness of that argument because there was no one else on earth he trusted more than Rhett. Not to mention, as Rhett reminded him many times throughout the day, “I’m a better driver anyway.” Link just rolled his eyes and smiled. 

As they rolled along the highway, Link couldn’t stop stealing glances at Rhett. His Rhett. He could say that now without being ashamed. There was nothing to hide anymore, so he let himself take a nice long look at the man next to him. He wanted to appreciate this person he had known his whole life that he now got to experience in a totally new way. The green eyes looked the color of sea glass when it first washed in on the beach. And with the way he had his hair pulled up, the curls that hung in ringlets at the very back of Rhett’s neck looked as soft as a bird’s feather. The long muscles that stretched out from the sleeves of his tight grey tee seemed to hold a world of promise. Link couldn’t help, but think about what the power in those arms could do to him. He put his hand on Rhett’s thigh and took a deep breath. 

“You enjoying the view, baby?” Rhett teased.

“Just taking the time to look, now that it’s not all weird and stuff.”

“It was never weird. It was just confusing, I guess.” Rhett shrugged and squeezed Link’s hand reassuringly.

The words came tumbling out before Link could stop them, “I’ve loved you my whole life. I didn’t always realize what it meant, but that warm feeling has always been there in my chest for as long as I can remember.”

“The love of your life, you called me that in a Tat post,” Rhett smiled softly. 

Link pulled out his phone and took a picture of their hands joined together on the center console of the van. He posted it to his Tat Tumblr account with the caption ‘Look who found me! Solo vanlife is no more. Love of my life loves me too!’ He held the phone up so Rhett could see what he had done.

“There. Tat’s followers deserve to know how his road trip is going. Maybe our happiness can be an inspiration for someone else,” Link said confidently before his smile was replaced by a looking of uncertainty, “Gosh, I probably shoulda asked before I did that. You’re not mad are ya?”

“I love it. I want the whole world to know I love you, Link.” 

“Well, let’s start with Tat’s 122 followers and we’ll talk later about where to go from there.” 

* * *

Rhett and Link pulled into Great Basin National Park at dusk. They had just enough time to eat some dinner, get cleaned up, and have mind blowing sex before they turned in for the night. A horseback riding excursion was on the next day’s agenda and the pair knew they needed rest after the long drive. Not that Link needed an excuse to snuggle in bed with Rhett. He would stay there permanently if he could. 

Horseback riding through the Great Basin was more beautiful than either of the boys expected. The sage brush that grew wild along the trails gave off a pleasant, warm scent and the abundant wildflowers created a tapestry of colors on the hillside. It was incredibly peaceful as well. Only the clop, clop of the horses hooves could be heard as they made their way down the trail. 

As beautiful as it was, the ride was a tough one. The trail was rocky and the horse bounced Link up and down in his saddle. He knew his hips would be sore from all the impact, but he didn’t let the possibility of being uncomfortable later spoil his enjoyment now. So, he sat up higher and rode along. He looked back at Rhett who was following him.

“Having fun?” Link asked.

“The time of my life,” Rhett smiled and clicked his tongue to make the horse go a bit faster so he could ride alongside Link. 

“You look like an honest to god cowboy out of an old western movie with that long hair and the way you ride that horse so smooth,” Link said.

Rhett reached down and patted his horse on the neck. “Nah, it’s not me. Ole Maisy here, she makes me look good is all.”

“Well whatever it is, I like it, Stretch,” Link winked and flashed a devilish smile at Rhett, then he rode on ahead. 

* * *

That evening after dinner and showers, the pair laid in the large double hammock Link had brought along. He had strung it up that morning in the hopes that they would be able to relax in it later in the day.

“This thing is huge,” Rhett said as he shifted his weight to make room for Link to climb in, “Did you get a double thinking I’d join you eventually?”

“I always hoped you’d join me, but I never expected it to actually happen to be honest.” Link slid in next to Rhett carefully, so as not to flip the hammock.

“Gosh we were so dumb about everything! How did we not see it all along?” Rhett’s voice went soft at the end as regret seeped into his words.

“Don’t.” Link wrapped his arms around Rhett’s midsection and held on with all his might. “Don’t think about it like that. We’ve had amazing years together as friends and now we get to have amazing years together as more. We can’t go back, but we sure as heck can make the future fantastic.” 

The green eyes looking down at Link had a soft sadness about them. Link kissed each of Rhett’s cheeks before finding his way to welcoming lips. Their kisses started slow and soft, comforting like a warm blanket wrapped around them. But with the way Rhett was pressed fully against Link’s front in the snug hammock, they quickly became heated. Link felt like he was on fire wherever his body met with Rhett’s. He slung a thigh over Rhett’s midsection to get some friction on his cock that was quickly becoming hard. The hammock swung gently as the pair rocked against each other. Link’s hands were in Rhett’s hair and he placed hot open mouth kisses along the long column of his neck and Rhett’s hands traveled over Link’s body like they were trying to explore uncharted territory. Under his t-shirt, across his hips, until eventually they found their way inside the blue joggers where Rhett grabbed two handfuls of Link’s round ass and ground against him with all his might. 

Link let out a little yelp followed by a soft moan.

Rhett tightened his grip, “Does that hurt, baby?” 

“It’s good… pleasure mixed with pain.” Link’s voice was breathy and his eyes were already half lidded and dark with desire.

“Figured you’d be sore after ridin’ that horse today. Couldn't take my eyes off the way your beautiful ass was bouncing up and down in the saddle. I can rub it out for ya. Make it feel better.” Rhett continued massaging the meat of Link’s ass, repeatedly squeezing and spreading his cheeks then letting them fall back together. 

Link moaned loudly and rutted against Rhett’s thigh. He was making a mess in his pants already and they had just gotten started. Rhett nipped at Link’s bottom lip and sucked on it until it was puffy and tender. He pushed his hips up into Link’s thigh and got some much needed friction on the hardness that was straining at the zipper of his shorts. 

Rhett let his hands dip further into Link’s joggers and ghosted a finger across his tight hole. Link gasped high and needy. 

“You are so good, baby. Always let me know what you like when I touch you,” Rhett whispered. 

“I’ve wanted you to touch me like this forever. Dreamed about it,” Link’s voice caught as Rhett applied more pressure. 

Link couldn’t go anywhere pressed against Rhett and held snug by the hammock like he was. He tried to wiggle his hips to push back so Rhett could slip in, but it just made the hammock swing more. He could feel himself getting more wound up. He would beg if he had to.

“How ‘bout I take you inside our van and let you ride me the way you did that horse? Bounce you up and down on my lap so I can watch that ass jiggle.” 

“Yes, now.” Link was so blissed out already that it was all he could manage to say as he dragged Rhett out of the hammock and towards the van. 

* * *

In no time at all, Link was naked and laid out across their bed watching Rhett get undressed. The way he peeled his clothes off made Link’s mouth water. The broad chest dusted in golden hair and the massive thighs, so thick and strong. Link had to get his mouth on them. He sat up and kissed along the top of Rhett’s legs and across his stomach. He licked a long stripe up Rhett’s cock as it bobbed in his face. If he could only taste this one thing the rest of his life he would be happy. Link sucked and licked until his face was a sloppy mess and Rhett had to pull him off for fear of coming too soon. 

Link scooted back and watched as Rhett climbed into the bed. He sat himself against the van wall with several pillows behind his back and patted his lap. “Come here.”

Link crawled over Rhett’s long outstretched legs pausing to place kisses along them as he went, until he was seated in Rhett’s lap staring into the eyes of the man he loved. Link placed his arms around Rhett’s neck and raised up on his knees. He nodded at Rhett, who had a soft smile full of adoration on his face. Rhett took his hard shaft in hand and held it steady as Link lowered himself. He shifted his hips up and down until he was fully seated in Rhett’s lap. They both moaned low from the intense pleasure of being connected. 

Link sat still and studied the face before him. He traced a thumb across Rhett’s eyebrow and whispered, “I love you.” 

Rhett wrapped his arms tight around Link’s middle and began to rock their bodies together. The intense grinding against Link’s sensitive walls sent sparks through his body. 

“Oh fuck.” Link bounced himself on Rhett’s cock. 

The van was filled with the sounds of two bodies making love. All around them and in them as if they were the center of the universe. As Link rode Rhett’s lap, he thought that he could feel their love traveling through his body, finding a home somewhere deep in his heart. There was nothing that could ever replace the feeling of being possessed by Rhett and possessing him at the same time. 

Rhett grabbed Link’s hips and held him still, “Turn around, baby? Can I see you?” 

Link quickly reversed his position so he was facing away from Rhett. He slid back down onto Rhett’s hot cock and threw his head back and moaned loudly. If Rhettt wanted a show he was going to give it to him. 

Rhett growled as he bottomed out again. “So fucking tight, Link.”

Link took this as encouragement and bounced on Rhett’s dick like his life depended on it. He let a string of curse words fall from his lips as his hands found their way to his hair. Link felt Rhett’s hands on his hips pulling him down as the larger man planted his heels into the bed and fucked up into Link’s tight heat. He closed his eyes and let himself enjoy being the center of Rhett’s attention. This thing he had wanted for so long was real and Link was going to relish every second.

“Yeah, ride me like that. So good.”

Rhett’s movements began to get messy and Link knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer. He felt Rhett sit up and press his forehead between his shoulder blades and with one final bounce Rhett kissed Link’s neck as he came deep inside his love. The warmth Link felt inside combined with the way Rhett’s big hands looked splayed across his chest caused Link to fall over the edge as well. He cried out as he painted Rhett’s thighs with his come. 

Afterward, the pair lay in their freshly made bed recounting the events of the day. They each said one thing they loved about this place. Link loved the sage bushes and wanted to plant some back home. Rhett said he loved the same thing no matter where they were… Link. 


	16. Chapter 16

Rhett woke up with a familiar sinking feeling as he dropped his arm to his side and felt that Link wasn’t there. His chest clenched for a fraction of a second at the memory of beautiful dreams fading into painful reality upon waking. But the tightness eased as the scent of coffee wafted through the van. Rhett’s subconscious had not tricked him again, and the beautiful dream was real. He hadn’t even opened his eyes yet and they were starting to water as a smile stretched across his face. 

Rhett slipped on a pair of shorts and joined Link outside. Link’s face lit up when he saw Rhett. Rhett supposed that it always had whenever he entered a room. How had he never fully noticed or appreciated what that meant? 

He pulled up a chair next to Link’s, and sat down to breathe in the cool morning air. Link handed him a coffee and smiled brighter than the sunrise. “Good morning.”

“It sure is,” Rhett concurred. He sipped from his mug, and felt how his body awakened with his surroundings. Objectively, the coffee was good. It was really good. Rhett had looked over the fancy coffee maker Link had gotten for his van, and figured for the money he’d spent on it, it  _ should _ be good! But in Rhett’s mind it represented the beginning of a new day together. Subjectively, it just might have been the best coffee ever. 

“How many morning coffees do you think we’ve shared?” Rhett asked him, tilting his still sleepy head back to let the sun warm his face. 

“Too many to count,” Link chuckled as he stirred the oatmeal he was tending to. “Going all the way back to college, I guess. And then all our years in all our office spaces.”

“They feel different now. Richer. It’s like everything’s got this new edge to it, now that you’re making it for me... with love.”

“Shouldn’t be any different then...” Link walked to where Rhett was sitting and leaned in to give him a kiss. “’cause I’ve loved you this whole time.”

Rhett grinned as his chest expanded with the breadth of emotions he felt. “Well, now I can  _ taste _ it.” He took another sip and winked. 

They finished their coffees and breakfast and began their new, blended morning routines. Rhett had his morning stretches, and Link had his meditation. They had combined them and taken to meditating together while stretching. In the beginning Link had worried that he wouldn’t be able to clear his thoughts if he was splitting his attention between mindfulness and moving his body, but together they found that they reached a deeper meditation with fuller body awareness than forced mental stillness. By the time they’d finished, Rhett always felt a little high. He was accessing a new plane of existence, and comfort. They never timed their sessions and they easily lost themselves in simply  _ being _ and breathing. They weren’t creating, they weren’t entertaining - but nothing about it ever felt like wasted time. 

_ This is it,  _ Rhett thought to himself. The thought felt half-formed, but nothing had smacked of truth and quite so hard since he and Link had first exchanged I love yous. Nothing was missing. Everything was right here. 

* * *

The pair showered and dressed, and then hit the road. It was a 7-hour drive to their next destination. Being on the road with Link had always felt natural. It took Rhett back to their past road trips, and tours. Link let him drive most of the way as they talked for hours; commenting on the landscape as it whizzed by, both endless and fleeting. They laughed together, sang together and before they knew it they were halfway there. 

They stopped for a late lunch at a diner, seating themselves at each other’s side as they looked over their maps and notes of places that Link had planned to visit. Link had laid down the bones for the trip, and Rhett would fill it in and make it come alive. 

Rhett felt a thrill knowing that he could finally lean into the way that their legs had always instinctively pressed together beneath the table, and he could rest his hand on the top Link’s thigh and know it was welcome there. Just as Link felt free to lay his head against Rhett’s shoulder, and wordlessly invited kisses on the top of his head throughout their little break from the road. 

* * *

The second half of the trip flew by just as effortlessly, and they found themselves rolling into the Valley of the Gods right at sunset, the sun shining on the natural layers of red rock formations as it set. They immediately pulled over and got out of the van to have a moment to take it in. Rhett felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, and he got a little misty eyed at the unbelievable beauty. It was hard to believe the incredible spires that blurred behind ethereal mists in the setting sun were not part of some movie set; or that the red rocks sprawling endlessly before them were not from Mars. 

Link’s voice was full of wonder as he wrapped his arms around Rhett’s trunk. “I think this has to be one of the top 10 most beautiful moments I’ve ever experienced.”

All Rhett could do was nod.

When they were both ready, and Link had taken a photo for his blog, they got back into the van. Link had been planning this drive-through tour longer, so he took over behind the wheel. 

“This is kinda an overview,” Link explained. “Since we’re staying the night, we’ll have plenty of opportunity to hike around and explore at our leisure.”

“This is like... a geologist’s wet dream.”

They passed by massive rock formations, spires, buttresses, formed and collapsed arches all visible along the drive. They stopped frequently to sit in stillness with the views, and do their best to be in the moment. It took practice for Rhett to immerse himself in the present experience, and not think about how they may never be here again, or how close he had come to not being here in the first place.

They passed formations and buttes with names like Seven Sailors, Sitting Hen, and Rooster. 

“Keep your eyes peeled for the Road Runner and Coyote,” Link warned him playfully, as they hiked the rocks. “This is their territory!”

Rhett barked out a laugh. “I’m pretty sure that if a coyote has marked its territory, I’ll  _ smell _ it before I see it!”

They hopped back into the van, and Link drove slowly as the road weaved past several other stunning buttes: Franklin and Battleship, and Castle Rock; he made a steep turn which led to the most whimsically named buttes: Rudolph and Santa, and Lady in a Bathtub. There had to be more than a dozen formations and spires along their tour. Some had names, and they took turns giving names to those without any on their maps. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Rhett asked gently as they had taken another driving break to take in the view. He didn’t want to disturb Link’s experience, but he also had a desperate need to not be excluded from it. outside of it. 

“Layers...” Link answered simply. 

“Like... Jean jackets and cardigans,” Rhett said with mock solemnity. 

Link smiled. “Like… these rocks are all so beautifully layered. But that didn’t happen overnight. It takes patience, and maybe a little dumb luck. I imagine there were some layers that didn’t stick, like dust or debris, where after one big storm, they’d wash away. But over time, after an intense storm, when the chaos has died down and you walk out to find... what we see here now! The landscape has changed, and it’s gorgeous. The layers don’t blend or merge, and you can see each separate era of the structure’s existence.”

Rhett nodded his understated agreement with Link’s profound observations.

“So,” Link continued. “I think about my own everyday layers. Places I’ve lived. People I’ve loved. There’s definitely some dust and debris. Emails, obligations, and stuff that I had recently been.. for lack of a better word,  _ praying _ that a storm would come and give me some kind of window into its power to reveal my own formation. See what sticks. What’s a part of me. And, I feel like I’m finally getting that glimpse after the passing storm. I find myself a little overwhelmed by the whole thing. But I think that I’m more secure with the things that will stay,” Link reached down to firmly grasp Rhett’s hand. “And that I can lean into my patience and dumb luck as I navigate the parts that will inevitably wash away with time.”

Rhett squeezed Link’s hand. “The Valley of the Gods sure does live up to its name, huh?”

* * *

The spacing between campsites provided ample opportunity for privacy while camping. There were only a few scrubby trees in the area, some scrappy bushes and wildflowers which left them with a lot of wind flowing down from Cedar Mesa in the early evening. Rhett and Link were able to form a small wall to block the wind as they set up sleeping bags, and cooked their dinner. They had decided to sleep out under the stars instead of inside the van. By the time they finished eating, the winds had died down, and a near perfect dark sky had revealed the Milky Way. 

“I’m so glad that we got here,” Link said to the stars, his upturned head resting on Rhett’s chest. And Rhett knew he wasn’t talking about their geographic location. 

“Me too, babe.”

“Where do you think we  _ go _ from here?”

Again, Rhett knew that pulling out another map wouldn’t help to answer the question in Link’s heart. 

“What if we’re already there?” Rhett offered. “What if this is all there is?”

“What do you mean by that?”

Rhett could hear the slight worry in Link’s tone. 

“Not in a bad way. Not in the unfulfilled and searching way. More like a completely  _ found _ and present way. What if this, right now, was what life was like all the time? You and me, beautiful settings, thoughtful conversations, minds and hearts wide open. What if we didn’t go looking for what happens next? What if the default was what we’re now thinking of as vacation?” 

“That’s… a big thought, Rhett. ”

Rhett squeezed Link more tightly. Half of Link’s body was propped up on Rhett’s, like he was gradually using the bigger man as a sleep mat as they continued gazing up at infinity splayed out above them. 

Rhett breathed in the scent of him and gave in to the weight of Link’s body. It wasn't crushing, it was grounding. 

“I don’t have a real answer yet, I guess,” Rhett admitted. “I just know that whatever it is, you won’t let me fail. You’re always there to assure me that we’ve done all the right things, so even when we miss the mark, I never feel like it’s because I wasn’t good enough. You’re the only person that’s ever been able to convince me of that in the midst of a disappointment. You’re the only one I trust enough to take big risks with.”

Rhett felt Link softly shaking his head against his chest. 

“Well, if I didn’t have you there wouldn’t be anything to fail at. I don’t know if I’d ever work up the inertia to put myself out there and  _ try _ anything if you didn’t believe in us so hard. You get these ideas, and believe in them so hard that it’s contagious. Even after a setback, you’re right there telling me what we can try next, and I believe in your dreams for us every single time.”

“So, whatever we do next, you’ll make sure we do it the right way, and I’ll make sure we don’t give up.”

Link’s arm reached itself up and over his head to stroke Rhett’s cheek with his hand. “Seems like there’s a lot to look forward to.”

Rhett closed his eyes, losing himself in Link’s simple touch. “Over 40, and we’re just getting started.”

Link had enough of his body weight pressed against Rhett’s that he couldn’t help  _ responding _ . He could feel himself harden and sought contact through their layers of clothing. He not-so-subtly lifted his hips to press his erection against Link’s backside. 

Link immediately ground his hips back to meet Rhett’s gentle push. Link’s hand snaked itself toward the back of Rhett’s head to tangle into his hair and grip gently as he pressed his hips back into Rhett’s lap. 

“It’s still unreal,” Rhett said. “That  _ this _ is something we do now.”

“And we do it really well,” Link purred as he wiggled his ass against Rhett.

“God, you’re sexy...” Rhett sighed in awe as he continued to lift his hips, wanting to give Link everything he needed. What they both wanted. 

Link turned around and moved to fully straddle Rhett. He pressed down against the hard bulge in Rhett’s pants, moving with more and more urgency. 

Rhett gripped Link’s hips and bounced him a little. “I love how needy you get. Never knew how bad you needed to get fucked, baby. But I really do love it.”

Link looked down at him with wide, excited, and slightly bewildered eyes. “It’s not that I needed to get fucked so bad, like.. in general. I needed  _ you _ specifically to fuck me, Rhett.”

Rhett lifted Link up and rolled him onto his back. He rucked Link’s shirt up to the tops of his pecs and kept his lower body pinned as he nipped and licked at Link’s nipples. 

“I’ve always loved the thought about what it must be like.. somebody pleasing your body,” Rhett told him between flicks of his tongue against Link’s pebbled nipples. “I never thought that it would get to be me that was doing it, but I’ve rubbed myself raw thinking about it.”

“Tell me…” Link whined as he arched his back, seemingly torn between feeling Rhett’s mouth on his body, and hearing him use it to articulate his steamy confessions. 

Rhett unzipped Link’s pants and stripped them off. 

“I would imagine you just like this when I touched myself. Laid out and just waiting to be teased. I would alternate between watching someone else with you, or it being me, myself.”

“I have to ask.. who else would you think of?”

“Usually made-up people. I dunno… I, uh, had a dream once that it was Tat.”

“That.. is the weirdest thing I’ve ever h—“

Link’s thought was cut off as Rhett took the tip of his cock into his mouth. He licked slow circles around the head, and teased the sensitive ridges with the tip of his tongue. He coaxed droplets of precome just for the privilege of licking him clean. 

“Fuck, Rhett...” Link sighed. “Mmmm…”

“I love how you taste,” Rhett let him know as he traced his own lower lip with the smooth skin of Link’s dick. “And I love how you feel in the back of my throat.”

Link’s whines turned to growls. “Nnngh. Suck me, Rhett.” He bucked his hips suggestively. 

Rhett let Link’s dick bounce against his lips before he swallowed it again. This time taking him deeper. It was long and thick, and Rhett wished he could see what he looked like right now, flushed cheek full of Link’s cock; taking him into his throat until tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. 

“Wanna come with you inside me,” Link husked, squirming beneath Rhett’s hold on him. 

Rhett pulled off of Link’s length and gave him a couple of long slow strokes that made Link moan. 

“Tell me you want it. I just wanna hear it.” Rhett quickly stripped out of his clothes, and reached for the lube they’d brought out with them, unabashedly having planned to do more than sleep underneath the stars. 

Rhett sat up on his knees and made a show of slicking up his girth, making it all wet and shiny for Link. 

“I want you...” Link said weakly. 

“I know, baby. But what do you  _ really _ need,” Rhett smiled, the teasing getting them both more and more worked up when he quoted Link’s own words back to him. “Not like, what you need in general… but what do you need  _ me _ , specifically, to do for ya?”

Link spread his legs wide and hiked his knees back so Rhett could rub some of the lube around his entrance. Light touches around his hole made Link twitch and flinch. 

Link looked Rhett in the eye. “I need you to fuck me, Rhett. You’ve been so good for me, making love to me, and letting me ride your nice thick cock. But now I need you to fuck me, hard. It’s our turn to give the stars somethin’ to look at.”

Rhett grabbed Link’s legs and pulled him roughly toward himself. “You think you’ve seen stars tonight, babe? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”

Rhett pressed the head of his cock against Link’s wet hole and watched as Link’s tight ass relaxed to swallow his girth hungrily. Rhett pressed in steadily, until he’d given Link all he had. 

“You don’t want me goin’ easy on ya then?” Rhett confirmed. 

“Gimme all you got, big man. I wanna feel ya.”

That was all Rhett needed to hear before he was slamming full strokes of his hard cock inside of Link’s narrow hips, Rhett’s balls slapping rhythmically against Link’s skin. 

Link cried out, but it was only cries of how good Rhett felt, and how badly he wanted to feel him again... and again. 

Rhett had to use one arm to hold Link in place as his momentum kept fucking him forward. He used his other hand to hold Link’s hips down, or to lift a leg up to open him up more. They moved together, finding new angles and positions for Rhett to work. Eventually Link was on his hands and knees, bucking his hips backward for Rhett. 

Link on all fours, begging… it was nearly enough to make Rhett spill into him; but Rhett managed to control himself. He spread Link so he could watch how his length disappeared; their bodies joined together in wet heat. Rhett added more lube and let it run down between them to coat Link’s balls. He rubbed a hand over them to coat them in slickness, and stroke Link’s heavily hanging hard-on. 

Rhett leaned over the length of Link’s back to press kisses to his broad, beautiful shoulders. 

“Use your teeth,” Link whimpered. 

Rhett tentatively retracted his lips to drag his teeth lightly over Link’s shoulder. 

“Yes,” Link whined. “Bite!”

Rhett continued to slam into Link from behind as he held Link’s cock in his hand. Link felt close to release, and Rhett wanted nothing more than to provide that for him. 

He closed his teeth over the flesh between Link’s shoulder and neck and pressed his jaw shut.

The high and animalistic sound that Link made as he spilled come over Rhett’s fist, and his ass tightened around Rhett’s cock as Rhett continued rocking his hips into Link was enough to have Rhett grunting against Link’s back. 

Rhett pulled out as he began to come. A trickle of his seed leaked from Link’s hole as Rhett painted the small of Link’s back with the residual pearly white strands. 

He hadn’t drawn blood from Link’s shoulder, but it would bruise. Rhett was relieved that Link hadn’t bled, he wasn’t sure if he’d have been able to handle the taste. He glanced down at Link’s fucked and glazed backside and wondered what other tastes he might surprise himself by being willing to explore... 

“Fuck, Rhett,” Link sighed happily. He seemed frozen in place. Like he’d forgotten how to move, or do anything apart from simply existing. “That was incredible.” 

Rhett reached for his t-shirt and wiped Link’s cheeks clean. He gently dabbed at the mess he’d made between his legs. 

Rhett had always been self conscious of his size and raw strength. He was conflicted over how to feel about any redness, bruising, and now  _ teeth marks _ that he’d left behind. 

He wrapped Link’s body in his sleeping bag and helped lay him back down, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around the smaller man. 

“Are you okay?” Link asked Rhett, taking him by surprise. 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“I can feel you asking me in the way you’re… handling me.”

Rhett wanted to ask him a lot of things. Was the way he was handling Link now okay? Was the way he’d handled him earlier okay? Were  _ they _ okay?

But he looked at Link, and the answers were written all over his serene, starlit face. Rhett didn’t think he’d ever seen someone look so peaceful, content, or loved. He didn’t need to ruin it by overthinking. He just needed to do what felt natural. Loving Link, and taking care of him; that felt natural. Rhett brought out some fresh clothes for them to sleep in, and snacks and drinks to soothe any residual needs. 

“Feeling good?” Rhett couldn’t resist asking softly as they kissed goodnight. 

“You’re perfect,” Link told him. And as always, Rhett believed him. Link fit perfectly into his arms as their breaths synched up and they drifted to sleep in the same sleeping bag beneath the same blanket of stars. 


	17. Chapter 17

Link peeled back the flap of the tent and looked out at the beauty before him. The whitecapped mountains in the distance were the perfect backdrop for the crystal clear mountain lake that lay just beyond the campsite. Their tent was surrounded by evergreen trees on three sides and a giant blue sky filled with puffy white clouds hung overhead. It was like being in a living Bob Ross painting. Every stop of this trip seemed to be more beautiful than the last and that beauty was only amplified by having Rhett at his side. 

Rhett and Link had gotten into the Wind River Range (the Winds, as locals called it) four days back. At first they had only planned to spend two nights, but the majesty of this place was like nothing they had ever seen before. After spending a day living out of the van the pair realized this area was begging to be enjoyed at its most basic. The Winds had to be experienced first hand with all the senses. Rhett and Link pulled their tent out from the under bed storage, and packed up a couple hiking packs with some easy to cook camp food and a water filtration system that Rhett had brought along. They set out to explore the wilderness. 

Back when Rhett was still “Backpacking_Bean” it became clear to Link that he had a serious interest in long distance hiking. His blog had been filled with pictures from the Appalachian Trail, another cross country path that stretched for thousands of miles. Link couldn’t help but wonder if maybe that might be something they would do together one day. But a thru hike of those proportions took months, and he couldn’t think of any way they could ever step away from GMM for that long. Good Mythical Morning had been their baby for so many years, it felt like the child that never grows up, forever 17 and perpetually stuck living in its parent’s proverbial basement. 

Link knew this experience would check a lot of boxes for Rhett. The Winds laid along the Continental Divide Trail. He and Rhett had hiked in 50 miles over the course of two days to this isolated paradise. The CDT was used so little that the pair had only seen one other person on their trek. This only added to the sense of adventure. Link couldn’t help but think about all the people throughout history who had moved across this great land for one reason or another. Looking for a new life of freedom, or heading out west to seek a fortune, or running from something they couldn’t bear to face. Whatever reason had driven those explorers in the past, Link knew the one thing they all had in common was a burning hunger for something new. He felt that too. 

* * *

Rhett grabbed Link around the waist and pulled him back into the tent. He manhandled him onto the mound of sleeping bags they shared and nuzzled his nose into the crook of Link’s neck until the smaller man was laughing uncontrollably. 

“Come back to bed, bo. It’s not time to get up yet.” The deep, sleepy timber of Rhett’s voice against the nape of Link's neck made him shiver and goosebumps sprouted out along his arms. Rhett wrapped Link tightly in his embrace and threw a heavy leg across his thighs. 

“Nuh-uh. We’re not doing that again.” Link wiggled to break free of the bigger man’s hold but it was useless. “We’re supposed to start our hike out today. The van’s just sitting there by herself. Who knows what’s happened to her!” Link whined. He pushed against the well defined biceps that held him and Rhett laughed at the absurdity of his half hearted attempt to escape. 

“Link, it’s a car, not a person. She will be just fine. Besides, we haven’t even gotten to skinny dip in the lake like you promised me.” Rhett wiggled his eyebrows and gave Link a mischievous smile. 

Link relaxed and let his mind drift back to their days as teens camping alongside the Cape Fear River. Back then he surely never imagined it would be possible to be wrapped up in Rhett’s embrace like this. He thought back on long nights sharing one tent, being so close that anything could happen if they let it, doing everything he could not to reach over and touch Rhett as he slept. Back in those days, Link hadn’t learned to control the ache yet and he would be sick with how much his body was instinctively drawn to Rhett’s. Luckily, Rhett never seemed to mind being pressed together from knee to thigh beside the campfire, or wrestling in the river until Link was embarrassingly hard and had to swim away to get control of his body. Link was sure without those opportunities for physical touch he would have gone crazy as a young man. 

Link breathed in deeply and the big man’s scent filled his nose. It was the same smell he remembered from all those years ago, musky and warm but now with a hint of the pines and aspens they had been living among for several days. All those things he always wanted had come true, and Link wasn’t going to waste anymore time. He rolled over in Rhett’s arms and kissed him with the slow burning passion that he felt all those years ago and still did today. 

“Fine. If you get up and make the coffee, we can go for a swim after breakfast… but don’t get any funny ideas, we’re not spending the whole day rolling around in these blankets again. We have to pack out of camp before lunch.”

Rhett squeezed Link a little tighter around the waist. “Yes, sir,” he said and leaned in to seal the deal with another kiss.

* * *

Link took a hold of Rhett’s outstretched hand and pulled himself up on the large rock that laid at the banks of the lake. It had been warmed by the sun and felt good on his skin after swimming in the frigid water for so long. The pair had spent the morning splashing and swimming in the clear water, but in spite of all their physical activity, eventually Link’s teeth began to chatter. This lake was made up of run off from melted snow of the nearby mountain tops and it was incredibly cold. It certainly didn’t help that they were both naked as Rhett had insisted the experience be authentic skinny dipping. 

Link curled into Rhett’s side and let the larger man’s heat soak into his skin. He always had run hotter than Link. The sun’s rays and the warm rock made Link feel sleepy and his eyelids got heavy. 

“What if we just give it to them?” Rhett whispered in a soft voice.

“What?” A groggy Link tried to focus on what his partner was saying.

“GMM. What if we just let them have it?” Rhett rolled over, so he was hovering over Link.

“Who?” Link asked. He could feel the nerves bubbling up in his belly already.

“Stevie and the rest of the crew,” Rhett spoke quickly as if what he was proposing was forbidden. “What if we just turn it over to them, and they host the show? She can make it into whatever her vision is. You've been trying to hide it, but I could tell you lost interest years ago. And honestly, so have I. We have plenty of money to live on for the rest of our life. We don't ever have to work again, unless we want to. And now that this,” Rhett motioned between himself and Link, “is new, I want to spend as much of my time getting to know this Link as I can. Doesn't mean we have to leave the business completely. We can write that manuscript we’re always talked about, or develop content for other creators. We can produce. Your analytical mind would love that. Hell, who knows, maybe we start an adventure YouTube channel. Make videos of places we visit and things we do. You know… vanlife. The last three weeks have been the best of my life, living out all of these dreams and fantasies we had always kept locked away. I don't want to go back into that little box anymore. Do you?”

Rhett stopped to take a breath. Link’s head swam with all of the things he had just heard. He tried to speak, but his mouth just opened and closed like a fish trying to catch a breath of air on land. Yes he wanted that. More than anything. But the thought of walking away, leaving everything behind, terrified Link. Before he realized it, tears filled his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. Rhett scooped Link up in his arms and planted kisses along his hairline. He made a comforting shushing noise as he rocked the smaller man against his chest. 

“No, baby, don’t cry. I was just thinking out loud. It’s okay. Nothing has to change. We’re still good.” The panic in Rhett’s voice was heartbreaking. 

Link grasped tightly to Rhett’s neck and buried his face in the dark haven of Rhett’s hair. His body shook with silent sobs. They laid there clinging to each other for what seemed like forever until Link stopped shaking and his breathing returned to normal. Rhett loosened his grip and showered Link with light kisses on his tear stained cheeks and down his neck. 

Link cleared his throat and made his voice as steady as possible. “I want to be brave. I want to do this for you, and for us... but it’s a lot, Rhett. I’m gonna need some time to think about everything you said.” He put a finger under Rhett’s chin and lifted his face to gaze into the beautiful sea glass green eyes. 

“I love you, Rhett.”

“I love you too… always.”


	18. Chapter 18

Rhett woke up to a rose colored world. It was hard for him not to see the world through rose tinted glasses, metaphorically speaking, since he and Link had been living their dreams together. However, this morning the rose tint was literal. The pink morning light streamed in through the open curtain of the van window giving the interior a dreamlike quality. 

Rhett shivered a little in the cool morning air, they’d definitely need their wetsuits to surf this morning. He looked over to see Link still fully asleep. Rhett smiled softly. Link looked utterly relaxed. Without a trace of tension in his body, and without his glasses, he looked so young to Rhett. Sometimes it was hard to wrap his mind around all the versions of this man he had known, and now in hindsight he honestly couldn’t remember any of them that he hadn’t loved with all his heart. 

Link pulled the blankets around himself more tightly to guard against the mild chill. Rhett instinctively slid in close behind Link to wrap him up in a full body embrace. He wanted nothing more than to protect Link from the cold.. from any discomfort, really. He had always tried to be that for Link. And while their new intimacy gave him more opportunities than ever to fully offer himself to Link as a source of comfort, it also opened up some difficult things for their future. Realistically, Rhett knew that he couldn’t keep Link entirely safe from the judgement and hate that they may have to face if they chose to reveal the new nature of their relationship to the public. Or the disappointment from the fans if they did decided to retire as hosts of GMM, and pass the baton to new people as they moved forward toward their next creative and personal goals. Rhett wouldn’t be able to shield Link from the inevitable growing pains they would need to endure as their relationship evolved. Right now things were perfect. But they were on vacation, essentially in the honeymoon period of this new dynamic. But if he and Link wanted to build a lasting and loving relationship, and Rhett truly did believe they both wanted that, they would be kidding themselves if they didn’t think that would come with new conflicts and challenges. They had a solid foundation to build on, but neither of them would be naive enough to believe that the recipe for relationship success would be as simple as “take one great friendship, and just add sex”.

Link stretched out in Rhett’s arms, rolling toward him and onto his back. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet, smiling as consciousness returned to him and with it the realization of where he was waking up. And with whom. Rhett recognized that feeling fondly. That waking moment when you realize that this is your real life now. He loved that moment. And he loved to see the beauty of it reflected in Link’s expression. 

“Good morning,” Rhett growled into Link’s hair. His voice was still a little raw from having not spoken yet. “Better take warning, sailor. The sky’s pretty dang red this morning.”

“Nnnnngwhat?”

“You know those old sayings? ‘Red sky at night, sailors delight’, ‘Red sky in the morning, sailors take warning’? Basically, it means there’s a storm coming this evening. Seems we’d better hit the waves sooner than later…”

“Ah…” Link yawned. “It’s too early for all this useless information.”

“Hm.” Rhett purred into Link’s ear. “You’re cute when you’re sleepy. Did you know that?”

Rhett’s hand drifted lower, to wrap around Link’s morning wood. Link’s lips parted at the touch. He moaned quietly, as he feigned resistance while he was clearly enjoying the attention. 

“Rhett…”

“Yeah, baby?” 

“Thought we needed to get going early?”

“I think we’ve got the time…”

“Mmm…” Link’s eyes slid closed with the pleasure of Rhett’s lazy strokes. “You feel so good… but I don’t think this is gonna... work.”

“If it feels good, I’d say it’s workin’ just fine.” Rhett dipped his face down into the crook of Link’s lean neck. 

“I don’t think I can… y’know? Like, there ain’t gonna be no… endpoint. You’ve been so good to me this whole time, I… I swear there ain’t nothin left. We might as well go surfing and then come back to this when we can take our time more.”

“Are you tellin’ me you’re…” Rhett grinned devilishly, as he teased, “...flat outta sperm?”

Link laughed, and reluctantly slapped Rhett’s hand away. “I cannot  _ believe _ that I’m committing myself to someone that’s got over 35 years worth of material to roast me with!”

“You’d pretty much already done that! Even before  _ this _ , I’d say that we were about as committed as we could get without… well,  _ this!” _

“Well, sure,” Link laughed, wide awake at this point, grinning broadly. “There’s always been the possibility you could make fun of me for somethin’ I said way back when we were kids in school. But I wouldn’t have to hear it during sex!” 

“Ohhh, I see. So  _ sex _ is the problem?”

“No!” Link immediately corrected him. He pulled Rhett in close, and kissed him softly. “Definitely not a problem. We’re gonna go surfing, and enjoy our last day free from the responsibilities that we have saddled ourselves with over the years.”

Rhett squeezed Link tightly. He found himself holding his breath with the effort of not going off on another tangent. Of not pontificating about how they’d put those responsibilities on themselves, and they could relieve themselves of them just the same. But the last thing he wanted to do was put pressure on Link on their last day of vacation, and make him anxious. So instead of a loaded  _ ‘And then what?’ _ He said, “And then… we’re gonna come back here and, how’d you say it earlier? Take our time?”

Link snuggled in close, and Rhett could feel the warmth of Link’s breath against his bare chest. He could feel the smile on Link’s lips as he replied, “Hell yes.”

* * *

It was about a half mile walk from where they’d parked the van to set up camp and the beach itself. It was a gorgeous trek and Rhett took note of how the smooth round stones that they walked over transformed into fine grains of sand as they got closer and closer to the beach. The morning sky was gold and pink, like orange and raspberry sherbet. It was a foreboding coloring as the sun seemed to come up slowly. Was the sun scared of the storm? Or stalling to start the new day, sympathetic and not in a hurry to rush Rhett and Link through their last day of this #vanlife journey? 

They were the only ones out this early. California beaches are usually packed, but today it was as if the pair had the world to themselves. The air and water were slightly too cool for it to be optimal, but the winds made for some challenging and fun waves. They surfed until they were too tired to effectively pop up onto their boards. The pair lingered a little bit beyond that, hanging onto their boards like floatation devices and just drifting lazily in the sea together. The sky had transitioned from its ethereal morning colors to a brilliant blue. 

“Should we go eat?” Link offered. 

“Man after my own heart,” Rhett said with a wink. 

They changed out of their wetsuits and into some loose shorts and shirts before they grabbed a late lunch from a beachside tiki bar. They sat on the same side of a picnic table, their inside knees and thighs pressed together. 

Their first drinks were light beers, and then they challenged each other to have something a little more fun and appropriate to the locals. 

“I could get one of those cocktails that’s just rum and coconut water,” Rhett suggested.

Link rolled his eyes. “That is so boring, man!”

“It’s refreshing! But fine… I’ll go all out and get the full on piña colada.”

“Now we’re talkin’,” Link said, enthusiastically slapping the table. He hopped up from the bench leaving Rhett’s left leg cold and lonely. “I’ll grab the drinks.”

Rhett laughed out loud when Link returned. “You got a mudslide? Talk about… the opposite of refreshing? That thing’s heavy as hell. It’s a full on dessert!”

“And what of it?” Link asked. Wrapping his lips seductively around the straw.

Rhett just smiled as he sipped his own drink and nibbled at the pineapple garnish. “Whatever makes you happy, bo.”

“You make me happy, Rhett.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah…” Link chewed his lip for a moment. “I know you’re wanting to know what happens next. And I’m not trying to avoid answering. It’s just… I’m overwhelmed, Rhett. I mean, you are here offering me everything that my heart has  _ ever _ wanted…”

Rhett’s hand reached down to take Link’s. “Is that a problem?”

“Of course not. But you’re also asking me to make one of the biggest changes of my life. And you know how well I handle change!”

Rhett chuckled.

“I didn’t think I’d ever be in a position to do anything more nerve wracking than when you’d asked me to move out to California with you. I never anticipated how big it would be to eventually… stop. I’ve worked so hard to build this sense of… stability. And now I feel like I’m on the verge of conspiring with you to uproot it! And I  _ know  _ that it’s for all the right reasons, and of course I am in love with the idea of… of running off with you all over again. But you have to understand, this is a big step for me and the reality of it all feels very heavy. And I…”

Rhett squeezed Link’s hand, encouraging him to continue. 

“I feel as if I’ve internalized everything that anyone has ever shared about how GMM has impacted their lives. Each person that has relied on our show as a constant, or as the thing that has gotten them through the hard times. I know we have to do what is best for us, and I think that moving forward together in a new direction is what’s best. But that doesn’t change how hard it is to know how disappointed people are gonna be. And that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna do it. I just… I’ve needed this time to fully process that heaviness.”

Rhett swiped the solitary tear rolling down Link’s cheek with his broad thumb. He wanted to tell Link how beautiful everything he’d said was. And to tell him to take all the processing time that he needed. But he didn’t want to sound like he was giving Link permission to feel. Or was that what Link was looking for? 

The men were interrupted as the sky opened up and rain began to pour down on them. Their eyes widened and they abandoned their half finished drinks, picked up their backpacks and boards and ran back to the van. They were laughing the entire time as they struggled to run in the sand with the rain soaking the dry clothes they had only so recently changed into. They dropped their boards outside of the van and hurried inside. Safe from the downpour they tried to catch their breath, giggling like little kids that had gotten caught in the rain. 

Their childlike laughter dissipated, and Rhett drank in the sight of Link. His clothes were sticking to his body, his wet hair pushed back out of his eyes. He was breathing heavily, smiling. Drops of water ran from his hairline down his face to roll over his plump lips and Rhett found himself jealous of the rain. 

As thunder clapped outside, they dropped their backpacks in unison, and came crashing together in a wet kiss. They clawed at one another in the effort to peel themselves out of their wet clothes, and they fumbled their way into the bed - wet and naked. 

“You’re cold…” Rhett commented.

“Then warm me up..”

Rhett wasted no time in doing just that. His hands moved over every inch of Link’s skin, illuminated intermittently by flashes of lightning. He held him close, feeling the warmth spread as they moved together. Their breaths coming hotter and hotter between them. 

“I want you, Rhett. Need you… inside…”

Rhett was in no mood to tease or make Link beg. He was desperate to give him anything and everything he wanted right now. The way that they picked up their intensity mirrored the storm outside. Rhett kissed Link’s pouty and panting lips, and slid down his body, lightly kissing his Adam’s apple, tickling the crook of Link’s neck with his neatly trimmed beard. He moved lower to lap and nibble at his nipples, feeling Link’s body begin to come alive under his attention. Link writhed and squirmed and arched. His skin erupted in excited goosebumps. His nipples and cock stiffened. 

Link fumbled for the lube and handed it to Rhett. Rhett coated his fingers and used slow, reverent motions to open Link up for him. His muscles softened and his legs easily fell apart opening in welcome for Rhett to fit his large body between them. 

Rhett placed his hands firmly on the smaller man’s arms as he positioned himself over Link. Holding him in place, making him secure. Their lips touched as Rhett pressed his cock into Link, slowly inching his way inside, watching how Link’s mouth fell open as he slid in deeper - pushing the air from his lungs as they connected. 

Rhett paused when he’d given Link’s body all he had to offer. He held himself there, fully buried inside of Link, savoring the heat and the feel of him squeezed around his cock. 

“You feel so good, babe…” Rhett muttered in a low growl, just barely audible over the hammering of the rain against the van. 

Link moaned high in his throat in reply. “You’re so good to me. You fuck me so good, Rhett!”

Rhett ran his hands all over Link’s body, fingers sliding as the dampness of the rain was replaced by a thin sheen of sweat developing between their bodies moving with and against one another. 

Link treated Rhett with sweet sounds each time he snapped his hips to thrust into him. His body pushing itself into Rhett’s movements, trying to press their bodies together impossibly closer. 

Rhett took cues from their breathing and the friction heating up between them as he smoothly slid himself in and out of Link’s tight body. His hand came to rest loosely around the head of Link’s leaking cock. Link arched up off the bed and into Rhett’s hold, whining and moaning deliciously at the light touches over his sensitive skin. Rhett coordinated the strokes of his hand with the thrusts of his hips. Link wrapped his long, smooth legs tightly around Rhett’s trunk, bucking his hips to meet every movement. 

Rhett was spurred on by Link’s responsiveness, grunting roughly as he steadily fucked Link further into delirium, rubbing against his overly sensitive head until Link was moaning his name over and over as Rhett felt hot come spurting against his hand. He massaged Link’s spent shaft with the warm wetness as he brought himself to orgasm inside Link’s pulsing heat. 

Rhett groaned loudly over the sound of the rain pelting against the van. Both men’s heavy breathing eventually quieted, and hammering hearts slowed until the peaceful rhythm of the rain was the only sound they could hear. 

“There’s no way I’m going back,” Link said dreamily. “Not to anything close to what we were doing before. Not after we’ve had this…”

Rhett kissed Link’s flushed cheeks, and then planted his lips firmly against Link’s soft mouth. “We’ll get where we wanna be, babe. I know it’s a big move, and we can do it at your pace. I don’t wanna overwhelm you. I mean, we’ve waited this long…” Rhett nibbled along Link’s jawline and ear lobe. “I got no problem taking my time with you.”

Link squirmed beneath the tickling brushes of Rhett’s beard until they both settled still in each other’s arms. They sank comfortably into the mattress, and silently listened to the rain which also seemed to have settled down, lightly pattering against the windows and roof. 

Link only broke the quiet spell for long enough to breathlessly whisper against Rhett’s chest, an understated and all-encompassing,  _ “Thank you.” _


	19. Chapter 19

_Lake Tahoe, CA - 1 year later_

Link could hear Rhett’s footsteps pounding away on the second story of their log cabin. He ran up the stairs and peeked his head into the bedroom. Rhett was there throwing clothes into different piles and stuffing things into his and Link’s backpacks. 

He was mumbling to himself, “Swim trunks… hiking boots… sweaters…”

“What are you doing, baby?” Link asked softly.

Rhett turned toward the voice behind him. “Shit! You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I forgot my wallet. Can’t pay for gas without a debit card.” Link walked toward the bed and picked up a pair of mittens. “Why are you packing, Rhett? This is my job.”

“I was trying to surprise you,” Rhett rubbed a hand across the back of his neck, “I know how hard you’ve been working to organize our itinerary for Peru and I just wanted to take this one chore off your hands. Thought I’d pack our stuff so you wouldn’t have to worry about it.”

Link walked over to his love and put his arms around the taller man’s shoulders. “Rhett, I like packing. It’s therapeutic for me. Knowin’ I have all the things we need for a trip calms my anxiety.” He ran his hands down Rhett’s chest and kissed his neck. “I appreciate you tryin’ to do something nice for me though.”

Rhett squeezed Link to his chest. “I’m sorry, bo. I’m just so excited about this damn trip. It’s our first international adventure for the new channel and I want everything to be perfect.”

“It will be, Rhett. And not because we have all the gloves, and cameras, and shampoos we need, but because we have each other and that’s the magic,” Link whispered as he held Rhett close. He slid his hands down to grasp at Rhett’s backside. “Now you go back downstairs and finish up those emails about your manuscript and I’ll clean this stuff up.”

“Do you want me to go get the gas?” Rhett asked.

“No, sir. I want you to stay close by, because as soon as I get this bed cleared off you’re going to make love to me for so long that you fuck all the nervous energy out of your body.” Link pressed his arousal into Rhett’s thigh. Even after all this time just being physically close to the bigger man still turned him on in an instant. 

* * *

When Rhett and Link returned from their vanlife trip, there was no need for further discussion. They already had their minds made up. A meeting was called with the entire Mythical staff and an announcement was made that the pair would be stepping down as daily hosts of the show. They would pass the reins over to whoever Stevie saw fit to choose. The pair knew their fans would take the news hard, so Rhett and Link committed to one final swan song of a season. Mythical Beasts were sad to hear the news of the end of GMM as they knew it, but the announcement that Rhett and Link were in fact a romantic couple soothed the blow. All those Rhinky touches and heart eyes fans had always seen were proven to be true. The pair intentionally turned up the heat for their last few episodes and ended the season with a passionate kiss as a gift for the hidden Rhinky side of their fandom. 

Once they left their studio office, things moved fast. The pair kept their creative house as a place to stay when in the city, but their permanent residence became an ostentatious log cabin in the beautiful city of Lake Tahoe. It was big enough for family and friends to visit and even Mythical company retreats could be held there. Situated right on the lake, the house had every outdoor amenity one could dream of, jet skis, hot tub, pool, lakeside bar & grill, Rhett even had a half size basketball court put in. The inside was just as ornate with a chef’s kitchen, multiple fireplaces, and a sauna. But the thing Rhett and Link really loved about this place was the location. There were hiking and mountain biking trails right out their back door. They could spend a day in beautiful nature anytime they wanted. 

From their new home base they were able to maintain control of Mythical through virtual means. The men were still in charge of their company, but they stopped living the 9 to 5 rat race. With the latest technology they were able to record Ear Biscuits and Society content from their home and they let the crew in Burbank handle everything else. Their new found freedom made it possible for Link to take some much needed time to relax and decompress and Rhett was finally able to work on a manuscript that had been rolling around in his brain for years. He had shopped it around to some movie studios and they were just in the beginning phase of discussions about production. Buzz was good, so Rhett remained cautiously optimistic. 

A few months after being in their new home, the duo decided to hit the road again and this time record it all vlog style. The Rhett and Link channel had laid dormant too long, so they uploaded their videos there with no marketing or hype. They started out with weekend trips to have small adventures. They stuck with things they knew. Kayaking, hiking, horseback riding, etc. Once they realized how much they enjoyed these adventure vlogs and how that joy translated to views, Rhett and Link were confident this was their new direction. Fan response was off the charts. “The Adventure Project” was born and the whole thing snowballed from there. They had been rock climbing in Yosemite and scaled Mount Saint Helens in Washington. Surfed on the Baja Peninsula and rode dune buggies through Death Valley. And now they were preparing for their first international vlog, a trip to Peru to explore the ruins of Machu Picchu. 

Above all else, the pair were finally happy and content in themselves and comfortable in their lives. Their relationship had only grown stronger since they decided to be brave enough to step out into the world together. 

And so, on a cool spring evening with the lake in front of them, a sunset the color of fire in the background, and only a justice of the peace to witness, Rhett and Link were married. 

Link’s vows brought Rhett to tears. 

“I memorized these words from Jane Eyre way back in high school in Ms. Simon’s Lit class, _“I have a strange feeling with regard to you. As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly knotted to a similar string in you. And if you were to leave I'm afraid that cord of communion would snap. And I have a notion that I'd take to bleeding inwardly.”_ I was afraid of that string for a long time. I used to think I had to cut the string to find myself, Rhett. But in the end I discovered that the string is as much part of who I am as anything else, and it’s unseverable. All roads lead… back to you, Rhett. You are my past and my future. You are my heart. My home.”

The pair kissed and lived happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors’ Notes:
> 
> I am eternally grateful to everyone who commented, gave kudos, and showed this fic love. Having Cal as a writing partner has been a dream. Supportive, creative, loving, and kind. What more could a girl ask for?! Writing this fic saved me from going crazy during Covid and for that I will always love it dearly. Thanks for enjoying this #vanlife journey with us. Hugs! —Babble [@fanbabble](https://fanbabble.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Ah! The feeling of spending hours preparing a meal in the kitchen, and then the meal seems like it’s over in a matter of seconds! I never imagined that collaborating could be so effortless, but I was more than willing to risk it with Babble - and I’m so glad that I did. We wound up creating something that feels like both of us, but also feels personal and uncompromising. I am beyond thrilled that so many people wound up joining us in sharing this story and investing in the slow burn. If you’ve made it this far, I appreciate you and I hope that the investment paid off for you. I hope you are brave enough and have the support to live your truth, and are never afraid to reevaluate and pivot even after you’ve found it ❤️🧡 —Cal [@mythicalamity](https://mythicalamity.tumblr.com/)


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